Dissipate Page 16

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Frustration wanted to bubble to the surface as I fought the urge to scream for him to come back, but I remained outwardly calm. I was about to have him inside me. It terrified and electrified me at the same time.

  Lying on the bed, I watched Aiden ruffle through his bag. He produced a condom. With deliberate slow steps, Aiden came back to me. “Kenzie, before we start, know that you can stop this at any time. I don’t care what we’re doing. You say stop, it stops.”

  “I know. I want this, Aiden. I—” I’d nearly slipped and told him how I truly felt about him.

  I’d read online that confessing your love too soon could spook a guy off. It felt right to say it, but I was in uncharted waters. Love was something that I knew little about, but I felt it within me. Like any emotion, it wasn’t tied to an age. Maturity gave us perspective. But raw feelings knew when to make themselves known.

  Making it back to the bed, Aiden hovered on top of me and teased me with his mouth. With one hand, he inched up my dress and touched my damp panties. “You’re going to kill me, Kenzie. I want you so bad.”

  “I want you too. Touch me.”

  My core was used to feeling Aiden’s expert fingers as he dipped inside me. Each and every time it was amazing as he touched a spot that had my insides clenching with anticipation. The massaging became quicker and I felt the familiar build I had become accustomed to.

  Aiden continued to trail kisses down my neck. When he made it to the top of the dress, he nudged the cup covering my breast aside. As he took my nipple into his mouth, my body lifted off the mattress as I let the orgasm overtake me. Continuing to stretch me farther than I had been before, I laid boneless on the bed at his mercy. I felt his fingers trace the top part of my panties, then they slid down my legs, achingly slow. More desire bloomed within me. Our eyes locked. It was like a fire crackling between us as my panties came off completely.

  I’d never been bare to him before. “You are absolutely perfect, Kenzie.”

  His words had me sitting up and taking off the dress, discarding it to the side. Here I was, naked, before him. Aiden’s hands roamed over my flesh, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Taking off his shirt, I ran my hands along his abs. Any time I touched him there, his muscles would quiver.

  I swallowed as I watched Aiden take off his lounge pants and boxers. He sprang free. The anatomy pictures did not do him justice and I was still in awe after seeing him several times. Per my research, despite his dick’s size, I knew it would fit. I hoped my research was right. I reached out, my thumb stroking the tip of him and was rewarded with a quick intake of breath.

  Repeating his words, but meaning it to him this time, I said, “You are absolutely perfect.”

  Aiden laid me back down. Our bare skin touched each other. My body was alive and aware of every touch Aiden gave me. “Kenzie, when I push inside, it’s going to hurt. I’ll take it slow. If it gets to be too much, tell me. I’ll stop. You’re tight and my dick is going to stretch you more.”

  “Please, Aiden.”

  He grabbed a condom and I remembered Brooklyn’s speech on birth control. “I’m on birth control. I got a shot this week. But you should still wrap it before you tap it.”

  Aiden froze. “What?”

  I looked around, afraid I’d said something wrong. “Umm . . . I’m on birth control, but you should still put on a condom.”

  Dropping the condom on the mattress, Aiden leaned down, bringing us face to face, mere inches from mine. “Kenzie, I’m not tapping you.”

  Confusion spread through me. I was pretty sure I’d understood the context of what Brooklyn had said. I’d forgotten to look it up. Shame coursed through me, that I’d assumed something I shouldn’t. I turned my head, but Aiden’s firm grip brought me back eye to eye with him. “Kenzie, I’m not tapping you. I’m making love to you. I love you, Kenzie.”

  Tapping must have a negative connotation. All I could focus on were the last four words he had spoken. Words I knew I felt bubbled to the surface as I said, “I love you, too, Aiden. So much.”

  Between reverently kissing me, Aiden pleaded, “Say it again. I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you.”

  “I love you, Aiden.”

  Taking the condom, Aiden put it on. He hovered at my entrance and pushed in. It burned. Grabbing his shoulders, I closed my eyes to push away the pain.

  Aiden’s voice was strained. “Are you hurting, sweetheart?”

  “It burns.” He stopped. I opened my eyes again. Aiden’s chest was heaving. The burn subsided. I wanted this over with. “Keep going.”

  “Kenzie—”

  On an exhale, I said, “Keep going.”

  Aiden pushed in and the burn came back with a vengeance. I breathed through it and stayed connected to the gorgeous eyes that were staring at me.

  “I’m almost in, sweetheart.” I nodded, the pain too great for words. “I’m in. You’re so tight.”

  I felt full, like I was about to be split in two. That must hurt his dick. “Am I hurting you, Aiden?”

  He kissed me. “I’m more than okay. It feels so fucking good. You’re pulsing around me.”

  The burn gave way. Desire became the primary emotion again. “Start moving again.”

  Withdrawing from me, Aiden pushed in again. This time the pain was less. Repeating the motions, soon pleasure replaced the discomfort. My mouth opened as I absorbed the sensations. Involuntarily my hips met his, creating more of a friction on my sensitive spots. With rhythmic steadiness, I had that intense feeling climbing like when he used his fingers.

  “You’re close. I can feel you Kenzie. You’re about to be mine.”

  Our eyes locked. On the next push in, my orgasm overtook me. Shattering me. Aiden strained his torso as he released himself. The completeness I felt was like no other. Tenderly, Aiden worshipped me as he withdrew, leaving a sting behind.

  “Let me get a washcloth. I’ll be right back.”

  In a few minutes, a warm cloth caressed the inside of my thigh. Getting in bed, Aiden slipped beside me and pulled me to the other side of the bed. We stared in each other’s eyes. “I love you, Kenzie.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Aiden would forever have a piece of me.

  SORENESS WAS PREVALENT between my legs when I shifted, proof I hadn’t been dreaming. My eyelids opened. I was greeted with blue eyes watching me.

  “Good morning, beautiful. How’d you sleep?” His voice was raspy, still heavy with sleep.

  With Aiden, I always slept better. “Perfect.”

  He stretched before caressing my hip. The touch ignited my skin. “Are you sore?”

  I nodded. “I am. A good kind of sore.”

  “Last night was the best night of my life.” His hand drifted to my hip and made soothing circles.

  “Mine, too.”

  Laying there, gazing into each other’s eyes, I tried to freeze this moment. This would be the moment I came back to when things were tough.

  Three raps came from the other side of the door. “Room Service.”

  “Oh, shit. I forgot.” Aiden hopped out of bed and I sat up. In a graceful movement, he pulled on his pants and walked to the door. Watching his confident stride, had me lost in somewhat of a trance.

  Peering back, he froze as he was about to open the door, eyes practically bulging. “Lay down and cover yourself, sweetheart.”

  I gasped, realizing that I was exposed from the waist up. In a flutter of movement, I brought the covers over my head. Lowered voices could be heard underneath the dark blanket.

  Sternness laced, Aiden’s voice. “No, I’ll take it from here. Thank you.”

  The door closed and I felt a dip in the bed. Barely poking my head above the covers, I saw an amused Aiden looking at me. “I ordered your favorite, homemade waffles, for breakfast.”

  Ravenous was an understatement with how famished I felt. We’d barely eaten anything last night. “I’m starved.”

 
Removing the dome lids, Aiden got breakfast ready while I donned one of the complimentary tan robes that had a tree embroidered on it. I joined Aiden at the small table. “This smells wonderful.”

  Fresh dough smells wafted through the air with buttery aromas.

  “Let’s eat.” We fixed our plates as I poured an ample amount of warm syrup. Before I took my first bite, Aiden asked, “What do you want to do today?”

  My eyes darted to the bed as I bit my lower lip, anxious about wanting more sex.

  Aiden gave me a handsome grin before taking a bite. “I think we can make that happen.”

  “I like the sound of that.” Taking a bite myself, I savored every second of this weekend.

  WE WERE NESTLED in front of the fireplace in our tree house room as the fire crackled. Aiden had built it earlier. Building fires was something everyone at The Society knew how to do. We had electricity and air conditioning. The heater was only to be used in extreme circumstances since The Light had provided us with other resources to make heat.

  As I stared into the flames, I played with the heart necklace my father had given my mom. I wore it almost all the time. It was a reminder of their love. It normally stayed underneath my clothes. Only Aiden knew the significance behind it.

  Cradled in Aiden’s arms, I bathed in the afterglow of our love making.

  Earlier this afternoon, we’d casually strode through the town of Eureka Springs. It was a cute little town filled with trinket shops of all sorts. Aiden had been attentive as I took everything in. I couldn’t wait to explore more places outside of Fayetteville.

  The logs shifted and new little sparks crackled around the log. Aiden moved and a black box appeared in front of me.

  “I had this made for you and have been waiting for the perfect opportunity.”

  He’d gotten me something which had elation darting through me. Besides my mom’s secret gifts, I had never gotten a present from someone else. The Light thought presents were frivolous and materialistic.

  Sitting up, I held the blanket up with one hand, exposing more of Aiden’s naked torso. Excitedly, I grabbed the box and opened. A ring with the same two hearts as my necklace sat nestled in the black velvet. I gasped as I nearly drop the ring with my fumbling shaky hands.

  Aiden took it out, and put it on my right finger. “I know your necklace is important to you since your dad gave it to your mom. I wanted you to have a matching ring from me.”

  Tears sprung to my eyes as I tackled him back and kissed him. “I love it and I love you.”

  “I love you too, Kenzie. Forever.”

  THE DRIVE HOME was beautiful as I took in the winding roads. The semi-leafless trees swayed. This weekend had left me satiated on life and love. This morning, Aiden had made love to me again. Feeling him inside me, filling me, was exquisite.

  Aiden’s phone vibrated. “Would you see who’s texting? I don’t want to look on these curvy roads.”

  Picking up the phone from the cup holder, I saw Stacy’s name. It was a text. “Umm . . . Stacy wants to know where you are. She needs to speak to you. It’s urgent and she’s upset.”

  A frustrated sigh left Aiden’s lips. “I don’t know why she won’t leave me alone.”

  “Were you both virgins when you slept with each other?” I couldn’t believe I had been so forthright. Part of me thought I should retract it, but now that the question was out there, I wanted to know.

  Aiden glanced my way. “I don’t want this causing problems for us. I won’t let it. It’s in the past, Kenzie.” He sighed. “Do you really want to know?”

  The vagueness of his response had me more curious. “Yes, I’m not going to get upset for something you did when I didn’t know you.”

  Grabbing one of my hands, Aiden interlaced our fingers. I could feel his thumb stroke the band of my ring. “No, neither one of us were virgins when we slept together.”

  I bit my lip and decided to keep asking questions. “How many people have you slept with?”

  Nervously, Aiden let go of my hand and ran his fingers through is hair. I retracted. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I’m not trying to be pushy.”

  “No, I’ll tell you anything you want. It’s just . . . hell . . . Kenzie, you’re different from anyone I’ve slept with.” He glanced my way and his eyes were filled with love. “We’re more. So much more.”

  My heart raced at how many people it was going to be, but I worked on staying calm.

  Cautiously, he continued, while his blue eyes watched me closely, “I’ve slept with three people. One before Stacy in high school, Stacy, then a girl I met at a party. I was drunk and it was right after the breakup.”

  Internally, I breathed a sigh of relief. Three didn’t seem like that high of a number considering how I’d heard people talk about one-night stands at the couple of parties I’d been to. There was one last question that came to the surface at the mention of Stacy’s name. “Did you tell Stacy you loved her?”

  Childishly, I was glad Stacy hadn’t been a virgin. I didn’t want Aiden to have a piece of her like he did me. The unknown high school girl didn’t bother me. She didn’t have a face or a name and she wasn’t trying to take Aiden away. Jealously was a foreign emotion to me and I wasn’t sure how to fully process it.

  Aiden didn’t speak. Patiently, I waited to see if he would. Earlier, I’d given him an out. Maybe he was taking it. The car turned into a parking lot and I wondered what we were doing as the gear shifter moved to Park.

  A serious expression replaced Aiden’s otherwise easygoing one. “Kenzie, I wanted you to see my face when I answered this question.” He waited a few seconds before responding, grabbing both of my hands and making a soothing motion with his thumb. “Stacy was the only one out of the three that I did say I love you to. I cared for her deeply. We had a history together. But the way I feel about you . . . doesn’t compare.”

  “I know some people will think, given my lack of relationships, that I can’t know what love is. But, I do. I feel that strong connection between us.”

  Closing his eyes, Aiden let out a sigh of relief and ran his hands through his dark hair. “Sometimes, I’m afraid I’m going to fuck us up. Just promise to talk to me if something happens that makes you want to pull away.”

  “I promise.”

  Part of me thought he blamed himself for Stacy cheating. Like he hadn’t been enough in some ways based off a few things Aiden and Brooklyn had said to me.

  We stayed in the parking lot as we kept talking. Aiden asked, “I know you never had a boyfriend, but was there anyone you had a crush on?”

  Matthew. Would he be considered a crush? He’d been my intended at some point, per the Keeper’s lies, so I guess so. It had been forever since I’d thought of him. “Kind of . . . maybe. His name was Matthew. We were best friends.” Staring out the window, I got lost in memories as I continued, “Matthew and I could talk for hours. We both grew up in very strict homes.”

  “Where is he now?”

  I closed my eyes and remembered Matthew standing outside my house the night I left. He’d stared at my window after John had walked off. Not running to Matthew had been hard and I regretted not giving him the choice. “Matthew stayed behind and I severed the relationship.”

  Aiden pensively asked, “Did he hurt you?”

  “No, if anything I hurt him. I left when I needed to find myself. I needed to sever all ties to my childhood.” The words hung out there and they felt refreshing to give a slice of what really happened to Aiden.

  Getting out of the vehicle, Aiden came to my side and brought me to him. “Maybe . . . someday . . . when you’re ready you can tell me more about what happened where you used to live.”

  “Someday.”

  I wrapped myself in the comforting scent of Aiden. Hopefully, I’d be able to tell Aiden everything . . . one day.

  THE NEXT DAY, I was at the library working on gathering information for my Jane Austen paper for English Composition. We we
re assigned a famous historical writer and had to write a creative informative piece on them. After reading summaries of her different fictional works, I had researched who Jane Austen was so I could get a sense for the tone of the paper I wanted to do.

  Several sites claimed that Jane Austen had been poisoned with arsenic. I debated whether or not to take a mystery type view point as there were several people who were thought to potentially be the culprit. Lacing the facts within the mystery would satisfy both requirements for the paper.

  Digging deeper, I read all the information on arsenic. One picture of a brittle striped fingernail caught my attention as I looked through the photos connected with the poison.

  I had seen something similar to this.

  Closing my eyes, I tried to place where I’d seen nails like this. Lying on a bed with candles lit all around her, my mom came into focus. Mom. It was my mom. A close up of my mom’s hands flashed through my mind and I read more. I attempted to remember if John’s first wife had the same fingernails when she died. I couldn’t remember.

  Other symptoms included: headaches; tingling in the hands and feet; discolored, striped and brittle nails; stomach cramps; hair loss; diarrhea; difficulty breathing.

  I read everything I could find. Blood drained from my face and was replaced with a lightheadedness. My stomach wanted to revolt as the implications sunk in.

  There was a chance my mom had been murdered.

  IN A NUMB state, I traipsed around aimlessly. A light drizzle started. It had been hours since I’d left the library, trying to process all of the information I’d learned. The sun had set long ago.

  The facts I’d read kept circulating through my mind. Being odorless and flavorless, arsenic was nearly impossible to detect. My mom had exhibited all of the visible signs I could find. If I could have taken a picture of her, she would have been an exact replica from all of the pictures I’d seen this afternoon.

  I had no proof, never would, but I knew someone had poisoned her in The Society. There had been a few mysterious deaths over the years and I think they were victims of being poisoned. The question I didn’t have the answer to was why.