Dissipate Page 8

  Fresh air sounded good and would help. I’d allow myself thirty minutes before I started back at learning a slide program that presentations were required to be put on.

  Logging off the computer, I made my way outside to a large tree that sat off to the right. It was away from the beaten path, but still allowed me to observe behaviors of everyone. The most fascinating part of people watching was the interaction between guys and girls.

  On the rare occasions I spoke to a guy, I attempted not to act nervous and look them straight in the eye. Talking to Aiden a couple of times, when he’d stop by the house, had helped. However, I kept it brief even when he tried to prolong the conversation. I knew he was simply being nice because I was his sister’s roommate.

  The incident in the kitchen with the chopsticks had been on my mind more than it should have been for just meeting someone. Guilt plagued me. Somehow, I felt like I was betraying Matthew even though we had never been together. Underneath it all, I was also scared because I wanted a repeat of those sensations I had experienced with Aiden. Those touches were seared into my skin.

  Leaning against the rough bark, I took several deep breaths and stared off into nothingness, trying to let my mind rest.

  I can do this. Hang in there, Kenzie.

  This had become my motto. It kept the tears and fear at bay—most of the time. At night, I allowed myself to cry—just enough to let some of my pent-up emotions out. During the day, however, I had to be strong.

  “Hey, stranger. Thought I might run into you here. What have you been up to?”

  I glanced into the sun at the familiar voice of Aiden. The deep rumble was something I’d never tire of. “Hey. Just getting ready for school tomorrow. How about you?”

  Taking a seat beside me he stretched out his legs. His foot came within inches of mine and I had to fight my reaction to close the gap. “The fraternity is finishing up Rush, the paper needed my first article they’re printing tomorrow, and I was trying to find you.”

  “Me?” I was confused as I tried to figure out why he’d be looking for me.

  At times, it did seem like Aiden sought me out when he stopped by the house, but I scolded myself for the foolish thoughts. Brooklyn and Aiden were close. Aiden always seemed to watch me closely which unnerved me. I was afraid he’d see through my lies that I desperately wanted to turn into truths.

  “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you alone. The other night at dinner, I thought something happened but then you pulled away.”

  I had no idea how to answer that. If I told Aiden the truth about how I had felt, I’d sound like a juvenile moron. Those stupid tingles! “I’m sorry I’ve come off that way. I haven’t meant to. Moving here and getting settled has been a big adjustment.”

  That was definitely the truth.

  Tapping my foot playfully, he gave me a smile. “Okay. Good. I had hoped I hadn’t read that wrong. Do you want to get a coffee sometime together?”

  I couldn’t tell what he thought he had read wrong. There were a million possibilities and my head hurt too bad to clarify. I liked the idea of spending time with Aiden. He was easygoing and didn’t push. “That sounds fun.”

  Belatedly, I realized something else he’d said. “Wait. Did you say you wrote an article for the paper?”

  “Yeah. Last year, when I was a freshman, I was a research assistant. This year, I was promoted to a journalist. It’s my major.”

  Knowing Aiden was only a year older than me brought a smile to my face for some unknown reason.

  I was up on my knees, excitement blossoming within me. A piece of myself that I recognized came roaring to the surface. “That’s incredible. I know you’re reporting on events, but researching is one of my favorite things to do.”

  “Really, well, they’re hiring. The paper is looking for another research assistant.” Aiden sat up and our knees touched. Again, I’d be remembering how this felt for days. I was losing my mind.

  I stood shifting my backpack on my shoulders. “Can you take me there to apply? Or tell me where? Aiden, this sounds perfect. I was going to look for a job this week.”

  Aiden chuckled. “The paper is closed today, but we’ll meet up tomorrow after your last class. I’ll talk to Tasha, my boss, in the morning before my first class. How does that sound?”

  I sunk back to the ground. “Sounds good. I guess I got a little excited.”

  “Aiden, what are you doing out here? We’re supposed to be meeting over at the house to plan the upcoming party.” Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. When I attended class at The Society, the teacher would do that to get everyone’s attention at the beginning even though we were quiet.

  The girl looked familiar. As I scrolled through the different faces I had met, I thought she was one of the girls who had been glaring from the sidelines when Aiden had run into me. She had on itty bitty shorts a tight top and her blonde hair was piled on top of her head. Next to her, I felt shabby. Disdain came off her in waves as she stared at me expectantly, then back to Aiden.

  As always, he watched the scene unfold. Knowing he was a journalist, this trait made sense. “I was catching up with Kenzie. She’s Brooklyn’s roommate. I’ll be there in a few, Stacy.”

  Stacy looked at me again, then back to Aiden and put a pouty face on. “I need to talk to you about something. It’s important. Unless you want me to ask you in front of your friend.” By the tone in her voice, it would appear whatever she was going to say, Aiden wouldn’t want me to hear.

  Pushing off the ground, Aiden stood and let out an exasperated sighed. “Let’s head that way.”

  Stacy gave a big smile to Aiden. As he picked up his bag, she raised her eyebrow at me in clear warning. Oh geez. In response, I gave a kind smile, hoping to soften Stacy. It didn’t.

  “Kenzie, I’ll catch up with you later about tomorrow.” Aiden blew out a slow breath. He didn’t look happy to be going off with Stacy which gave me more satisfaction than I should have allowed.

  Giving a small nod, while staying seated on the ground, I responded, “Sounds good. Have fun.”

  “Oh, we will.” Stacy’s attitude wore on me.

  They left and I watched Aiden keep his distance between them as Stacy casually kept trying to touch him. Laughter from across the lawn caught my attention as I turned to see some girls walking down the path. Excitement still coursed through me at the thought of possibly getting a job at a newspaper doing research.

  Tomorrow was shaping up to be a bigger day than I had anticipated.

  ANTICIPATION, FEAR, AND excitement had my heart racing as I stepped into the classroom for my first official class. Last week, I had found all my classrooms and timed my walk between buildings as I found the quickest paths. I was as prepared as one could be and even twenty minutes early today.

  No one else was in the room. All the challenges, tears, and hardships felt worth it. I was in college, adapting and surviving to a new way of life. I had done it.

  As I was about to take a seat in the middle, I was abruptly pushed and barely able to catch myself on the edge of the chair.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you.” The voice was sarcastic and I knew who it was without having to see her face.

  I turned and saw Stacy standing there. Even as unaware of the culture as I was, I highly doubted she hadn’t seen me. “Hey, Stacy. It’s nice to see you again.”

  The teaching of The Society kicked in: Always turn your cheek when you’re provoked. Anger is not the way.

  If looks could kill, I’d be dead on the spot and Stacy pointed her finger at me. “Aiden and I are together. Don’t even think of trying to come between us or I will make your life a living hell. Understand?”

  This whole line of conversation had been unexpected to say the least. Needing to dispel the hostile situation, I tried to explain the situation. “Umm . . . You don’t have to worry about me. He’s my roommate’s brother. That’s it. He’s helped me out a few times since I’m new to town. I’m not after him.”


  Drama and crazy people were the last thing that I needed.

  Stacy gave me a mocking laugh. “Kenzie, right? You’re too plain to hold the attention of a man like Aiden. You look like you crawled out of a gutter somewhere. Just make sure you don’t try anything. I’ll deny it if you said we talked.”

  Standing there, not knowing what to do, I watched the vile human in front of me flip her hair and walk toward a middle front row seat. I will not cry. I will not cry. To take my focus away from the hurtful words, I dug my fingers into the palm of my hand to the point of pain. Stacy would not get the satisfaction of making me tear up in front of her. I was tougher than that.

  Taking a seat in the far left corner, I focused on getting my materials out for class as a few other girls joined Stacy. They all laughed and looked my way. Remain outwardly unaffected, Kenzie. Do not cry. Do not cry. Regardless, being made fun of still hurt. Inconspicuously, I glanced at my shirt. I hadn’t felt like I had crawled out of the gutter, but compared to all the other girls I observed walking into the room, I was plain.

  A female teacher in slacks and a black silk shirt walked to the front of the room. “Welcome. This is English Composition. I’m Professor Jameson. My student aid will be passing out the course syllabus. We’ll go over the expectations first before we begin.”

  Opening my notebook, I focused on learning. I was living and absorbing all the knowledge I could. Mom would have been proud of me. A sense of accomplishment brought a small grin to my lips.

  Regardless of what was thrown my way, Mom had been right . . . I had the strength to make it through.

  AN INNER GLEE consumed me. My hunger for knowledge had returned with having teachers there to guide me. Reading several chapters ahead in all my classes had given me a head start, which was nice. Thank goodness Stacy hadn’t been in any more of my classes today. I said a silent prayer English Comp was the only one. I headed over to the building where the newspaper office was to meet Aiden.

  “Hey, how was your first day of class?” Aiden came up and bumped my shoulder.

  Stacy’s warning came to mind, but I couldn’t ignore Aiden. He had been too kind to me. “It was good. How about yours?”

  He shrugged. “They were okay. But, this is the best part of the day so far.” A smile wanted to emerge but I kept it subdued and polite. Aiden looked over at me. “Are you okay?”

  Had I been that obvious?

  Looking him straight in the eyes momentarily, I responded, “It’s been a long day with classes and I’m nervous about talking to the editor about the research job.”

  He nudged me again and I liked how the contact felt. It was hard not to respond and nudge him back. Aiden continued to make friendly talk as we finished our walk. The large gray building loomed in front of me. A hand touched the small of my back and I leaned into it without thinking, then stepped away when I realized what I had done.

  “Kenzie, don’t be nervous.”

  “I’m trying.”

  We entered the building and climbed a flight of stairs. The structure was fairly new and cold with its steel-gray walls and cream-colored tile. “Tasha is the editor you’ll be meeting with. She’s a senior this year that started off her freshman year as a research assistant. I’ve learned a lot from her. Her boyfriend was one of my brothers at the Sigma Chi house. He graduated last year.”

  One day last week, I had researched about the fraternities and sororities. They called each other brothers and sisters with absolutely no relation. There were definitely benefits to it with all the resources they provided, but the expenses were outrageous.

  “I read Tasha’s bio online. It was impressive.”

  We approached a door with the name of the paper printed on the glass. Arkansas Traveler. Taking out his badge, Aiden ran it through the door reader. A girl with black spikey hair, wearing jeans and a red and black top approached us with a friendly smile. She had an authoritative air about her.

  Aiden began the introductions. “Hey Tasha, this is Kenzie. She’s interested in the research position we have open.”

  Tasha put her hand out and I shook it. The grip was firm and I matched the pressure. Apparently, in an interview a strong handshake meant you were assertive. “Hey, Kenzie. Nice to meet you. We had two positions and I filled one this morning. Before you and I talk, I need to speak with Aiden first.”

  My heart dropped and I tried to keep the disappointment at bay. “Sure, no problem.”

  Aiden looked back to me and mouthed, I’ll be right back. I nodded. While I had a free moment, I took in my surroundings. There were about ten cubicles, each with two desks inside. Some were neat and tidy while others were a messy array of papers. Two computers sat in each cubicle. I only saw a total of four people who were working, not paying any attention to me.

  Being in new places intimidated me. I always felt like someone was going to see through me at any minute. My insides shook, but I outwardly remained calm.

  A door opened, and my eyes darted to Aiden and Tasha who came my way. Luck had been on my side, but at any time I was afraid it would run out. Please still let me get the job.

  Tasha spoke to me, “Kenzie, let’s talk for a few.”

  “Okay.” The clammy feeling came back to my palms as I covertly wiped them off.

  As I passed Aiden, he gave me a wink. Surely he wouldn’t look like this if it meant bad news for me. I followed Tasha into her office and sat in a black leather chair. Stack of papers and newspapers littered nearly every surface.

  Sitting behind her desk, Tasha looked at me, assessing. “So, Aiden wants you to be his research assistant. Our budget has been cut so he’s taking a few more assignments. Do you have any qualifications for this job?”

  If only I could tell her how qualified I was with the research I had done. But, that would reveal too much about myself. “I’ve never worked for a paper. Well, really anywhere. But, I can promise you that I will do a good job. You won’t be disappointed in giving me a chance.”

  Her fingers tapped the desk and I knew that she wanted me to have more experience. I was losing my shot. Think Kenzie, think.

  “Why do you want this position, Kenzie?” The tone was merely curious, but at the same time doubtful.

  This answer was pivotal in me getting the job. Speaking from the heart, I hoped it was enough. “I love learning. It’s my passion. Taking something and figuring out all the details is magical to me. A research assistant seems like a natural extension.” The passion was evident in my thirst for knowledge as I moved my hands about as I spoke.

  Too bad, I wasn’t able to explain the depth of how much I’d had to research as of late. This job would be perfect for me to keep learning and adapting.

  She sat back in her chair and tapped her chin. “I need someone who can dig deep and get Aiden what he needs efficiently.”

  Sitting farther up in my chair, I pushed all of my reserve out of the way. “I know I can research anything Aiden needs. All I’m asking is for you to take a chance on me. If you don’t think I’ll work out, I can quit. I’ll work hard.”

  Tasha stood and I wanted to puke. “All right. Aiden thinks you’re perfect for what he needs, so I’m going to trust him and give you a chance. Normally, I require a lot more experience. You’ll need to work with Aiden on your schedule, but it ranges around three to five hours a day, five days a week. That’s as much as the work-study program will allow. The pay is eight dollars and fifty cents an hour. I’ll get the request in the system to get your student ID access to the office. Any questions.”

  It was hard not to do the jumping and clapping thing that Brooklyn did in a moment like this, but I remained calm. “No, none. Thank you. Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

  “You’re welcome, Kenzie. I have a feeling Aiden was right about you. Don’t let me be wrong. I take this paper seriously.” Tasha was firm but kind. I was going to like working for her.

  Nodding my head, I grabbed my bag. “I won’t. Thank you.”

  “I’ll let you
tell Aiden. I need to finish a few things.”

  Tasha focused back on her task behind her desk and I quietly left. Quickly, I did the math in my head. Depending on my hours I would make between one-hundred and twenty-five dollars to two-hundred and ten dollars a week. Even the lower end would at least cover my monthly rent. I’d still have to find another job to cover food and other supplies needed, but this was a start.

  What had begun as a horrible day with Stacy was turning into a great one. Aiden gathered a few things at his desk. It was one of the messier ones as he shifted through papers and it made me quietly chuckle to myself. Aiden and I would be working together—a lot. I liked the idea of it more than I should.

  Glancing up after putting a piece of paper in his bag, Aiden saw my meeting was over. “How’d it go?”

  “Can we go out in the hall to talk?” People were still in here and I didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention toward me.

  His brows furrowed in confusion. “Okay. Sure.” Looking toward Tasha’s office, he looked back at me, pausing for a second, then kept walking after me.

  As soon as we cleared the doors and no one could hear us, I jumped. “I got it, Aiden! I got it!”

  He chuckled. “Shit, you had me worried. I told Tasha I wanted you.”

  Stopping my crazy tirade in the hall, I asked, “I hope I didn’t prevent someone more qualified from getting the job. Or someone that could help you more.”

  “I wanted you.” He emphasized the words and took a step closer.

  Without thinking, I took a step closer. “Thank you. I won’t disappoint you. I promise.”

  Leaning to me, but keeping a little distance between our bodies, Aiden brought his lips to my ear. Reasoning was becoming hazy. Warm breaths tickled my neck, leaving a trail of goose bumps. “You’re welcome. I’ll have to think of more things to do to get this kind of attention from you.”

  His words had me remembering myself and slightly putting distance between us. Holding my hips, Aiden didn’t allow much space between us. A magnetic pull happened as our faces inched closer. I had no idea what I was doing, but my body went on auto pilot.