Innocence Read online

  “I’d love to.” Snuggled into the side of Jaxson, I gazed up into the sky and asked, “Do you worry this is too fast?”

  “No. Not at all, London. It feels wrong to hold back.”

  “Yeah, it does.” That was true. When I let my heart lead me, things felt right.

  We lay under the stars and talked while stealing kisses. A shooting star raced across the sky. “Make a wish, sweetheart.”

  “You.”

  “I wish—”

  I silenced him with my finger. “You can’t say it out loud. It’s bad luck.” A brow raised and I explained. “Before Mom got sick, we wished on every shooting star. We always said them out loud and our wishes didn’t come true. Don’t say it out loud. Please.”

  Lips found my forehead. “I’ll keep it to myself but let you know when it comes true.”

  “Perfect.” Jaxson got me and wasn’t pressing to push me to wish.

  The intensity grew. Fingers crept up my stomach. “London, I want you to come home with me. Only if you want.”

  Desire flooded me.

  I wanted this.

  I wanted him.

  Without hesitating, I responded, “Yes.”

  In a swift movement, Jaxson had me in his arms as he walked to the truck. Something grew stronger between us like I had never imagined. A connection solidified.

  The drive to his house felt like it took forever. Holding hands wasn’t enough. I needed more.

  Finally, his house came into view. The truck stopped. Jaxson hauled me over to the driver’s seat from the passenger side and nibbled on my neck. Yes! Yes! Yes! I closed my eyes to absorb the sensation.

  “From the moment, you screamed that night, I’ve wanted you, London.”

  A moan escaped. “Me, too. Hurry, Jaxson.”

  I was lost in the touch of his lips. “Are you sure you want this, London?”

  “Yes. I’m sure. I don’t want to fight what I feel is right.”

  We were all hands and touching as we made our way up the driveway and to the porch. The rest of the world drifted away as Jaxson’s touch consumed me. Devoured me.

  Fumbling with the key, the front door finally opened. Hungrily, he kissed me as we zigzagged our way back to his bedroom. While I’d watched Ty, I’d looked in Jaxson’s bedroom wondering what it would be like to be in his arms. I was about to find out.

  The house was masculine, lacking a woman’s touch but filled with Jaxson’s cologne. The open floor plan only added to the vastness.

  In the bedroom, Jaxson flipped on the dimmer switch before setting me down. I missed the warmth of his body. A soft glow bathed us. This was it. This was the moment our relationship would change.

  A finger trailed down my cheek eliciting a gasp. “If this is going too fast between us, London. Tell me.”

  “I promise it’s not.”

  Hands grabbed the hem of my dress and slowly pulled it over my body, the cool breeze elicited goose bumps across my skin. Thank goodness, I had the foresight of wearing some of the sexy lingerie Millie gave me. Tonight was a matching see through pale-pink panty set.

  “You’re gorgeous. Absolutely stunning, sweetheart.”

  “I wish I could say the same, but you’re fully clothed.”

  Jaxson removed his shirt and I could barely focus as his taut chest and finely-tuned abdomen came into view. Tentatively, I touched the ridges and felt his skin quiver beneath my touch. “That’s better. So much better.”

  Lips touched my neck as I felt pressure on my sex and he backed us toward the bed. His bed. The mattress met me and I leaned back, earning a groan from Jaxson as I put myself on display. “Jaxson . . .”

  With his other hand, he unsnapped the front of my bra, freeing me. “Beautiful . . .” The words sounded as if he’d never seen anyone like this before. Warmth engulfed my nipple followed by sucking. I arched off the bed. “So responsive. I love how your body reacts to every touch.”

  More pressure.

  The amazing sensation built.

  More pressure.

  The orgasm neared as I lost myself to the pleasure. A moan escaped me. He switched nipples. It had been so long that my body detonated quickly and my eyes fluttered shut. I felt the fabric of my panties slide down my legs and the sound of Jaxson’s zipper. Then nothing. I opened my eyes as Jaxson removed his jeans in fluid movement, releasing himself.

  My word. He was . . . blessed.

  From the drawer he pulled out a condom and laid it on the bed table. “First, I want to taste you, London. Then, I’m going to make love to you.”

  He captured my mouth. Before I was ready, his lips moved down the base of my throat and to my erect nipples, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. The sensations were so strong I thought I was going to combust. His tongue toyed with my nipple bringing moans of pure pleasure from me. He spent ample time between my breasts before trailing kisses down my stomach which tightened in response as he neared his goal.

  Arousal, lust, desire were rampant through me. At the top of my apex he kissed me and I writhed against the bed. “So responsive, sweetheart.”

  His tongue traced around my nub. “So beautiful.”

  “Jaxson, please.”

  Warmth flooded me as Jaxson licked me before dipping his tongue inside my core. There was an intense pressure building as his thumb made contact with my clit. The orgasm washed over me without warning. Tendrils of pleasure spiraled through my body as I became boneless in the moment of ecstasy.

  Jaxson’s lips moved back up my body before he kissed me. I tasted myself on him. It was erotic and the need for more made itself known.

  “Sweeter than honey, baby. I already have a condom on.” I felt him at my entrance.

  “Please, Jaxson.” The tip nudged my entrance. Our eyes locked and I took a deep breath. “Jaxson, I want this. I want it with you.”

  It felt like my first time as he achingly pushed in ever so slowly, stretching me, filling me—making us one. Sparks flew between us, tying me to him deeper than I was able to admit to myself. Fully in, he put his forehead to mine. “I could spend the rest of my life right here like this. Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Feels so good. Don’t stop.”

  Ever so slowly he moved in and out, drawing out the pleasure, kindling a need. I clawed at his back demanding more not able to wait. His teeth nipped my shoulder.

  The pace picked up.

  The friction warmed me.

  It wasn’t near enough. “Faster, Jaxson.”

  He pumped into me. I met him thrust for thrust.

  Faster.

  Deeper.

  Harder.

  I was nearing my orgasm. The strained muscles in Jaxson’s neck told me he was close as we both climbed to the pleasure awaiting us. A light sheen of sweat coated our bodies. He shifted and I exploded around him while arching my back the beaded tips of my breast brushing against his chest as he pumped into me before finding his release.

  This was more intense than I’d ever experienced.

  More emotion.

  More feelings.

  More everything.

  He collapsed on me, keeping the weight off with his arms. “I’ll never be the same again after having you.”

  “Me either. Jaxson, I’m falling fast.”

  “I’ve already fallen, sweetheart.”

  Rolling to the side, he disposed of the condom and brought me to him. I felt safe. I felt loved. Soon we dozed off, basking in our lovemaking. This was perfect. Beyond perfect.

  I FELT ACROSS THE BED to snuggle closer to Jaxson, feeling a chill in the air. I was greeted with cold sheets. I was alone. “Jaxson.”

  My heart hammered wondering what the next step was. I wanted more but how much more did Jaxson want?

  “I’m out here.”

  I took a deep steadying breath. Taking the sheet with me, I walked to the balcony in his bedroom that faced the mountains. The cool night air helped awaken me. “What are you doing out here?”

  He pulled me onto his l
ap. “Thinking about us.” Apprehension filled me again. “You’re tensing. It’s nothing bad.” Kissing my neck, I gave him access and relaxed as his lips soothed me. “I don’t know how I’ll make it a night without you in my bed.”

  “Jaxson.” He wanted me. The smile was impossible to suppress.

  “I’m serious, London.”

  Fingers traced down my stomach and I arched needing the contact. “We’ll figure it out. Tomorrow. Let’s focus on this moment right now. Hell, I know you’re thinking this is fast, but I want to be honest with you.”

  “Me too. I need the honesty, Jaxson. Even if it scares me.”

  “I promise.”

  More nibbles along my neck as Jaxson murmured, “I’m going to taste every inch of you.”

  Rays from the open balcony door beamed into the room. We’d left the doors open when we came in from outside last night. There wasn’t a part we didn’t know intimately about each other now. I touched my lips remembering Jaxson’s against mine as we made love through the entire night. The memories flooded me. Perfect memories. Jaxson treated me as if I was the most precious thing to him. I smiled to myself remembering his lips whisper sweet nothings against my skin. I turned my head to see his face peacefully asleep.

  Warmth surrounded me as Jaxson held me to him while he slept.

  This was peace.

  Last night was how my first time should have felt. The connection and intimacy was beyond anything and it was only our first time. With Charles it was more . . . platonic, lacking the soul-shattering depth I felt with Jaxson. Charles had always been attentive but our connection had been a spark versus the flame Jaxson and I shared. For so many years in prison, I’d thought I’d lost the love of my life.

  I was wrong.

  Charles wasn’t the love of my life. Things with Jaxson would take their course, but what we had was more . . . so much more.

  Pressure increased on my stomach as Jaxson brought me closer to him. His frank was ready for more. I nearly giggled out loud adopting Millie’s terminology mentally. “Morning. What are you thinking about? I can feel your wheels turning.” That sleep-ridden voice had my thoughts turning to lust quickly.

  “Last night. How different it was.”

  Kissing my shoulder blade, he asked, “Different good?”

  “Yes.” I turned to face him, my breasts rubbed up against him, turning into pointy peaks. “Different fantastic.”

  His worried face relaxed. “I meant what I said last night. I don’t know how I’m going to survive without you with me at night.”

  I stroked his face and took a deep breath. “It will make the times we have together more special. You know I can’t stay over. That will confuse Ty.”

  “I know.” Lips brushed mine. “We need to make sure we make time for us. I know I’m in love with you.”

  The breath caught in my throat. Love. Did he just say he loved me? I searched his eyes as Jaxson waited for my response. “London, it’s okay if you’re not ready to say it. I know it’s quick.”

  His thumb brushed my cheek and I closed my eyes, organizing my thoughts. When I opened them I was greeted with a smile and patience. Jaxson was willing to wait until I was ready. I took a leap and told him how I felt. “I’m scared to admit I’m falling in love with you. For as long as I can remember I always lose everything I care about.”

  “Don’t be scared. I’m not letting anything happen to us.”

  Take the leap, London. I kissed him as I murmured. “I love you, too.”

  Moving positions, Jaxson hovered above me while showering me with kisses. “I’ll never tire of you saying that. I’ll make sure you feel my love every day.”

  I braced myself as we entered Pam and Levi’s house. The smell of freshly baked biscuits wafted through the air. There was no doubt they would know we had sex last night. In the light of day, maybe being so obvious was a bad idea. A warm hand was placed on my lower back. “Don’t worry, London. We’re adults.”

  “I know, but . . .” I stopped.

  Laughter erupted in the other room. Jaxson’s hands came to my face bringing my attention back to him. “London, I’m a grown man. You’re a grown woman. My parent’s adore you even with the misconception of your past. They trust you with my son. I trust you with my son.”

  “Jaxson, London. You’re here.” I stepped back from Jaxson as Pam walked in. I felt like a teenager being caught kissing. What was wrong with me? I was an adult? An adult who slept with this woman’s son all night long. Stop. Get a grip.

  She brought me into a hug. “I’m so glad you guys are giving this a chance.”

  I nearly choked at her comment. “Me too.”

  Maybe things weren’t awkward after all. I was a mess and out of practice with the whole dating thing. “Be aware Ty’s been asking numerous questions about boyfriends and girlfriends.”

  On cue, the little man ran in here. “Dad! London—” He stopped. “You found her. I went to see if she wanted breakfast and she wasn’t there. Where were you?”

  I tensed at the question and heat flooded my face. How was Jaxson going to answer him?

  Jaxson picked Ty up and brought him to the office off of the front door motioning for me to follow him. “Ty, I took London to breakfast. She’s my girlfriend. But we’re going to eat with you guys again.”

  Well, we hadn’t had food for breakfast. A light heat graced my cheeks at the thought.

  “Are you getting married?”

  Both men’s eyes darted to mine, Ty’s full of curiosity. The question made me fiddle with my hair while Jaxson answered him, “No, son, we’re not getting married. We like each other a lot. We’ll be boyfriend and girlfriend at first. Like Mallory has her boyfriend.”

  A huff escaped. “Don’t take too long, Dad. Mallory and her boyfriend broke up. She told us this morning. Aunt Sydney and Mallory are here for breakfast.”

  “I promise I won’t take too long.” There was a definite vow spoken that had nervous, excited flutters racing through me.

  “Good. We don’t want to lose her, Dad.”

  “We won’t.”

  Ty grabbed my hand while Jaxson’s went to the small of my back before going into the living room. The family sat around while Mallory stood in the middle with her dark hair in a ponytail. I remembered my days of being a teenager and dancing. Pam clapped. “Oh good, Jaxson and London can see your routine you learned at dance camp.”

  “I’d love to see it.” The excitement in my voice was evident.

  Mallory, wearing a pink and black dance shirt, centered herself as Pam hit play for the music to start. The routine was fairly standard with a few free spins, kicks, and heel turns. During the heel turn, Mallory’s balance faltered slightly and she stopped. “Sorry that part keeps throwing me.”

  “Turn your right heel out slightly to help counteract the weight balance on your supported foot.” Mallory’s brow crinkled. The attention turned to me, but I ignored it as I walked free of Jaxson’s embrace. “If you keep the weight more balanced it won’t throw you off. Try this.”

  Slowly, I demonstrated the step and she mimicked it, executing the maneuver perfectly. I loved that feeling—when a move became fluid to the point it was merely an extension of your body. “Now try that and see if it transitions into your next move easier.”

  I took a step back. The music played again and Mallory executed it with perfection. Quitting the dance, she ran to me. “Thank you, London. Where did you learn that?”

  “I used to dance a lot back in the day.”

  “Will you help me with some other moves?”

  With Jaxson’s hand on my lower back, I felt complete. Another piece of what I’d given up slipped into place. “I would love to.”

  TWO MONTHS PASSED SINCE JAXSON and I had our first night together. Nothing new had been discovered about the accident and who was behind it. It was frustrating, but at least whoever it was hadn’t bothered me anymore.

  The heat of late August was upon us. Before I came, Ja
xson decided to wait a year for Ty to start kindergarten since he was in the gray area for age. Made complete sense to me. Pam supported Jaxson’s decision, but thought Ty should try it and if he was too young, repeat it. Jaxson wanted Ty to have an extra year at the farm.

  My eyes drifted to the flowers on the counter from the two men I loved. Every week, Jaxson and Ty brought me flowers. The word perfect was subpar to how the last couple of months had been. Everything was falling into place. Jaxson. Ty. Dancing. On the side, I helped Mallory and a couple of her friends with dance moves. I was in heaven.

  Dad arrived last night and was sleeping in the guest room. My phone vibrated on the counter as I made biscuits for breakfast. Jaxson and Ty were joining us in about forty-five minutes.

  Jaxson: Good morning, beautiful. How was your night?

  Me: It was lonely.

  Stolen moments was all time afforded us as of late. Last week, Jaxson traveled to Birmingham for three days to see some therapy equipment demonstrations. Ty stayed with me in the guesthouse which had been fun. The ever-inquisitive mind of a five-year-old constantly asked about what was next for Jaxson and me. He was getting tired of the answer, we’re getting to know each other.

  Jaxson: If you were in my bed it wouldn’t be.

  I shook my head. That was something I didn’t budge on with Ty being in the house. With Ty already wondering how relationships worked, it would blur the line between me being the girlfriend and a wife.

  Me: I know, but it’ll make it that much better someday.

  Jaxson: Someday better come quick.

  Me: Patience, my love. Patience. Breakfast will be ready in about forty minutes.

  Jaxson: We’ll be there. And you know I don’t have any patience.

  Me: I know. Love you.

  Jaxson: Love you, too.

  Smiling from ear to ear, I sat the phone down as I patted out the biscuits. “I take it that was Jaxson?”

  I looked up at Dad with a slight heat gracing my cheeks. “Yes. I know it’s fast, Dad.”