Dissipate Read online

  Why would someone try to kill my mom?

  I had no answer.

  This was the vicious loop my mind was caught in.

  No one knew of my mom’s indiscretions of teaching me. We’d always done it in private and I’d never shared with anyone. I knew she wouldn’t have told anyone either. Nothing made sense. There weren’t any indicators that I could remember that something had happened.

  Mom had mentioned in her note about going to a doctor to get the proper medicines. She must not have known she was being poisoned either. Otherwise, I’m certain she would have demanded that I run—or that we try to run together.

  Poison was the only answer to her mysterious death now that my eyes had been opened.

  Thunder rumbled and I blinked into focus. I was standing in the parking lot where the Greyhound had dropped me off on my first day here in Fayetteville. There was so much wrong that had been done to innocent people. We had been victims of the Keeper while he decided who lived and who died. There had to be something I could do. Somehow . . . someway . . . figure out how to stop the killings. Maybe, if there was an inconspicuous way to expose them.

  The wind blew and I shivered. I needed to get home. My tears felt hot against my cool cheeks. If only I could reverse time, I would get my mom out of there. We would have come here and been happy.

  “Kenzie!”

  I turned at my name. Aiden ran to me, leaving his car door open. Panic was clear in his actions. Skidding to a halt, he brought me to him. Warmth enveloped me as I sobbed into his chest losing all my composure.

  “Sweetheart, where have you been? What’s wrong? I’ve been looking for you for hours.” The panic in his voice had me crying harder. The cold seeped into my bones and my teeth were chattering amongst the sobs. “Fuck, Kenzie, you’re freezing. Let’s get you home.”

  I nodded into his chest, still unable to calm myself. Guiding me to the car, Aiden took off my backpack before putting me in the passenger seat. Quickly, he got in on the driver’s side. The frigidness became more prevalent.

  Aiden cranked on the heat, then put his phone to his ear. “I found her. I’m bringing her home. I don’t know. I don’t know, Brooklyn. I need to get her warmed up first. I know. Yes, I know that, too. Yes. I think that’s a good idea. Okay. I will. Love you, too.”

  He exhaled a breath. “Sweetheart, are you hurt? I need to know if you’re hurt and if I need to get you to the hospital.”

  My shoulders were slumped as I gazed at my legs. With the shock and numbness wearing away, I felt the unneeded loss acutely. Mom and I had been cheated out of time. So much time.

  I shook my head. My voice was hoarse. “I’m not hurt. Please take me home.”

  The car shifted into gear and we made our way home. Aiden didn’t say anything. His hand came out and tried to make friction against my left arm to help warm me. It was hard to make sense of all the chaos in my head. Before I knew it, we were pulling up to my apartment. Wordlessly, I got out of the car and made it to the front door.

  Brooklyn’s voice scared me. “Kenzie.” I turned and she engulfed me in a hug. “I told Aiden I was leaving, but I needed to make sure you were okay. Mike’s in the car, but I had to stay until I saw you.”

  Muffled, I spoke into her shoulder, “I will be.”

  “Let me know if you need anything.”

  Stepping back, I kept my eyes cast downward. “I promise.”

  Even though the last thing I wanted to do was talk, it felt good to know Brooklyn was here for me too if I needed her.

  Brooklyn whispered something into Aiden’s ear. He nodded. Brooklyn walked backward. “I’m going to stay at Mike’s tonight. Love you guys.”

  Aiden called after her for both of us. “You too, Sis.”

  With shaking hands, I tried to unlock the front door.

  “Here let me get that. We’re here alone.”

  “O-o-k-kay.”

  A few lights were flipped on. Aiden picked me up and I nuzzled into his neck as he took me upstairs. He was going to want answers. I was tired of lying and all of the deceit. Setting me on the bed, Aiden retrieved a pair of sweatpants, sweatshirt, socks, and panties for me.

  “Sweetheart, I need to get you warm. Let’s get you changed, then we’ll get you in bed.”

  My clothes were damp as Aiden helped peel them off. Gently, he got me dressed before I got under the covers.

  Aiden sat on the edge of the bed. Wanting to feel him, I asked, “Are you getting in bed, too?”

  “Do you want me to?” There was caution in his voice. His hair was a mess, probably from running his fingers through it wildly.

  “Yes.”

  Relief washed over his features as he stripped down to his boxers. The icy feeling lessened when I felt his warmth seep through my clothes. When I touched him his muscles retracted from my cold fingers.

  Into his chest, I murmured. “I know you have questions.”

  “What happened?”

  I swallowed hard, reliving in a flash the final week of my mom’s life. “I’m not ready to tell you everything tonight, but I want to tell you part of it.” Fear clenched my heart at the possibility of sharing with someone what all had happened. I had to stay smart about this. “If I tell you, you have to promise me you won’t do anything.”

  The grip on my hip tightened. “Did someone hurt you today, Kenzie? I swear—”

  Touching my fingers to his lips, I shushed him before he could finish that sentence. “I’m not hurt, Aiden. It has to do with my mom. Promise me.”

  Blue eyes searched mine. “I promise.”

  It was best to put it out there, then try to figure out the details. I had no game plan how I was going to explain this, but now, The Society was more dangerous than I’d ever imagined.

  “I think my mom was poisoned. She got sick and died quickly.” I tried to block out the last image I saw of her, on the bed, shallowly taking breaths.

  Aiden kissed my forehead. “Take your time.”

  I shook my head. “I need to do this. I don’t want any lies between us.” Tenseness formed around his eyes. I continued, “The poison was arsenic. Aiden, my mom matched the symptoms perfectly. But, I can’t investigate. She was involved with some dangerous people.”

  Aiden’s grip tightened on me. “What kind of people? Are you in danger?”

  There was so much to the story. I wasn’t sure where to begin. “No, they don’t know where I am. I promise I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow.”

  “How’d you figure it out?”

  The memory of the brittle fingernails caused a shudder. “I was working on my Jane Austen paper. I have no proof, but deep down I know it’s true.”

  Aiden brought me to him. “We could figure this out.”

  The reporter in Aiden came out like I knew it would. Deep within my bones, exhaustion claimed me. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow. I’m emotionally spent and need to think. There’s more, Aiden. A lot more.”

  I wanted nothing more than The Society to be stopped. However, we had to be smart or the ramifications would be death—for me and probably anyone else involved.

  “Sleep, Kenzie. We’ll talk tomorrow.” The muscles within my body relaxed at his vow. Right before I drifted under, Aiden’s wary tone brought me back. “But, Kenzie, we have to get you a cell phone. If you can’t afford it, I’ll pay for it. I need a way to reach you and know you’re safe.” He took an uneasy breath. “I nearly went out of my mind looking for you.”

  A new sense of guilt settled over me, knowing the worry I’d caused. “I’ll get one tomorrow. I’m so sorry.”

  Aiden hugged me even tighter. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.” A tender kiss graced the top of my head. “Thank you.”

  “What am I going to tell Brooklyn?” She’d want some kind of explanation. I know I would.

  Aiden rolled to his back and brought me to him. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he looked at the ceiling. “We’ll figure that out after we talk tomorrow. She’s not coming
back until tomorrow night.”

  I was exhausted to the core.

  “Sleep, sweetheart. I love you, Kenzie.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Sleep claimed me.

  TOMORROW HAD COME. Beside me, Aiden slept peacefully, though his grip was solid around me. Dreams of my mom dying had plagued me through most of the night causing uneasy sleep. Aiden had been with me through it all—the tears, the terror, and the sadness.

  I focused on Aiden’s relaxed features. Last night, he’d taken it well but there was still a wariness around us. With the ingrained rules of The Society, it was hard to open myself up emotionally—both physically and mentally. But, I was working on it.

  Trying not to move, I ignored my body’s restlessness to let Aiden sleep and allow me some time to think about how I was going to tell him . . . everything.

  The deep fear that Aiden would leave me with all the lies I had told him existed. Lying was something Aiden didn’t tolerate in his relationships. I kept telling myself that if we truly loved each other, it would be fine. We’d figure it out. With the serious nature of my previous life, hopefully he would understand why I couldn’t tell him before I knew how we felt about each other.

  If he didn’t . . . I didn’t have an answer for that.

  Barely shifting, Aiden’s eyes popped open as he looked me over. It was time.

  Running his free hand through his hair, Aiden looked tired with the circles underneath his eyes. “Morning, sweetheart.”

  “Morning.” I sounded hollow. I felt hollow. “Do you want to go down to the living room to talk? I’m ready if you are.”

  There was no reason to prolong the inevitable. Nerves would eat at me if we waited. Getting it out of the way was the best way to go. At least I was calmer now from the hysterical mess I had been.

  Clearing his throat, he responded, “I’d rather stay connected like this while we talk.”

  “I’m afraid you’re going to leave when I tell you everything I’ve been hiding.” I hated how meek my traitorous voice sounded as the raw emotion emanated from me.

  “That’s not happening.”

  I hoped not.

  Gathering my wits, as I got ready to purge myself. There was no easy way to start so I went with one of the first lies I had told. “I’m not from Montana. I’m from a place near Nevada, Missouri named The Society. My real name is Kenzie Brooks, but there, everyone knows me as Sarah. They believe in what’s called The Light and until August I’d never been outside the walls of the community where I lived.”

  Waiting, I tested the waters to see his initial reaction. Aiden sat erect in the bed and stared at me, unbelieving and shocked.

  “Are you serious right now, Kenzie? You’ve been lying to me this entire time?”

  Not wanting to be laying down while Aiden wasn’t, I sat up too and grabbed his hand. He let me, but there was a cloud that now hung over us.

  Solemnly, I nodded. “I am. I’m going to tell you everything. The entire truth.”

  “AND THAT’S HOW I came to the conclusion that The Society is killing people for whatever reason.”

  A headache bloomed behind my eyes. Emotional fatigue took over my muscles even though I hadn’t been out of bed yet this morning. At least the lies were out in the open.

  Leaning back on the pillow, Aiden brought me to him. “I can’t believe you dealt with that all alone. I wish I’d known.”

  “I was afraid and couldn’t risk the wrong person finding out.” My voice was on the verge of cracking.

  Aiden consoled me. “Don’t be upset, Kenzie.” A gentle caress touched my cheek. “It’s beyond fucked up what you had to deal with.”

  “I know.” Playing with the ring Aiden got me, I knew I had to give Aiden an out. “If this is too much, we can end this. I lied and I know how you feel about lying.”

  “Kenzie, look at me.” My eyes shot to Aiden’s. His face had lost the earlier scowl. “I’m not letting you go. When I said I loved you, I meant it. I can handle this.”

  Fiercely, I hugged myself to him. “I love you. I love you so much. I’ll never lie to you again.”

  The warmth of his welcoming embrace had me wanting to cry all over again. “You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I’m thankful you ran into Brooklyn.”

  “You guys have both been a blessing.” Aiden was deep in thought as he focused on a spot beyond my face. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Just what all you went through and what it was like.”

  I thought about life back at The Society; the tiresome days, the strict rules, and the sense of community. Part of me would always miss my home. “Back then, it seemed normal. It was all that I knew. But now, I feel violated like I was brainwashed.” I took a deep breath. “At times, it’s hard not to be angry with my mom for what she did.”

  “I’d feel the same way.” More silence permeated the room as we were left to our thoughts. “Now, the question is what do we do, sweetheart?”

  Conviction rose through me. “They’re killing people, Aiden. I need to find a way to try and expose them.”

  Aiden dragged a hand down his face. “We’re going to have to be smart about this, Kenzie. I can’t put your life in jeopardy. I won’t lose you.” Thrumming his fingers on my back, I knew he was thinking. It’s what he always did while he contemplated his stories. “Let’s see what we can find and we’ll decide what to do from there.”

  “I want to try and save all those people.”

  “Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”

  AIDEN AND I had both skipped class today. With all the revelations, I needed a day away from school even though we were in the library. A book with detailed foldout maps was on the desk beside Aiden’s laptop. I was researching the protection religious sectors receive from the government as well as other “cults” where incidents happened that became national news such as mass suicides.

  Due to religious protection not much could be done without proof. Proof was one thing we didn’t have to start a more intensive investigation. I had stories of what I remembered from my mom’s death, but no proof. Everything else was conjecture. That was only enough to have someone go out there and see if there was anything out of the ordinary . . . on the surface. The problem was this was a case where innocent people were potentially being killed and had no idea.

  First we were going to go to the police. If that didn’t work, we would contact the FBI.

  My new phone vibrated on the desk. Quickly, I swiped it up. It was Brooklyn.

  Brooklyn: Are you okay? Aiden told me what happened. I’m worried about you.

  Aiden had agreed that Brooklyn couldn’t know the truth about The Society. Anyone who found out about it could be put into harm’s way if The Society knew I was still alive. No one left The Society. There were no stories in any of the papers about the community. It was as if they didn’t exist.

  There had to be some sort of explanation for my behavior last night, so we’d decided to tell Brooklyn that I’d been at the library and been hit with a wave of sadness from losing my mom. It was the truth minus a few details.

  Me: Thank you. I’m sorry I worried everyone. I’m doing better. I’ll be home tonight.

  Brooklyn: Double movie date?

  Looking over at Aiden, he was concentrating on something intensely. “Brooklyn wants to do a double movie date. Are you up for it?”

  “Sure.”

  He wasn’t paying attention, but I knew he wouldn’t mind as I responded.

  Me: Sounds perfect.

  Brooklyn: Yay! I’ll pick up the pizza.

  I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling of the library needing a break before I went back to researching. We hadn’t really learned anything new from what I’d already found. The Keeper had been vigilant in keeping any specifics hidden from the public. From the outside, The Society looked like a respectful group.

  Dead ends. It all lead to a dead end. It felt like I was in a tomb of research. We continued looking
for . . . anything.

  Pages flipped to the side of the map book as Aiden kept looking.

  Aiden tapped my leg with his pencil, urgently whispering, “Shit, Kenzie. I think there are multiple societies all over the U.S.”

  “What?” My voice came out louder than I’d meant for it to and I quickly covered my mouth with my hand as I looked around. Only one person raised their eyebrow to me and I gave them an apologetic nod.

  Unfolding a larger map, Aiden queued up a few things on his computer. “So, I traced Peter Peppington, who owns The Society land in Missouri. He owns another section of religious land not four hours away from Missouri in Kansas.” Aiden pointed to the different sections of the map. That excited gleam in his eyes shown when he knew he was on to something. “From there, I found his partner, Luke Masterson, who owns land in Ohio as well. It keeps going.”

  “Are all the lands considered religious sections?” Multiple societies? I felt sick as a weighted knot formed in my stomach.

  The mouse moved quickly about as Aiden read and marked places on a map he’d photocopied earlier. “Yes. They all stand for different things like truth, trust, purity, knowledge, etcetera. I think it’s all connected. Each person I find owns two groups.”

  “Do you see any red flags? Any at all?” I crouched on the edge of my seat as I continued to watch Aiden mark up the map.

  “No. None. It’s all legit from what I can tell.” Cradling my head in my hands, Aiden tried to be reassuring. “We’ll keep looking.”

  Studying at the map, there were over thirty dots, marking the different societies. Were these other Societies true religious groups? Or were they doing similar things as The Society I’d come from?

  I STIRRED AND saw that the movie was over. Aiden’s warm body had lulled me to sleep fast when we sat. Mike, Brooklyn and Aiden were talking about one of the football players who’d been busted for drinking and driving this afternoon. The news had run rampant and all the fans were beyond shocked.

  Brooklyn saw I was waking. “Hey there, sleepyhead.”