Innocence Read online

  “Coming after you.”

  Those tingles erupted again as my lower stomach tightened. I opened the door wider to let Jaxson in. Briefly, I smiled. “We haven’t talked—”

  He cut me off as his hands came to each side of my face, obliterating my train of thought. The emerald-green of his eyes captivated me. Lost in his stare, he slowly lowered his lips to mine. The wait was excruciating. As his warm yet firm lips pressed against mine, not a single fantasy over the past week compared to the reality. I want this. He wants me.

  A quick swipe of his tongue had me opening up to him and his tongue danced along mine. Without thinking, I intertwined my hands into his dark hair. He moaned in my mouth as he deepened the kiss. On the cusp of it turning into more, he pulled away.

  This was going fast. Too fast.

  As our breathing subsided, Jaxson trailed his nose along mine. “A thousand kisses from you a day wouldn’t be enough.”

  I blushed at his words. “They’re yours. Anytime.”

  But . . . we still needed to talk.

  As if he read my mind, Jaxson grabbed my hand and led me to the couch. Jaxson asked, “What did you want to talk about earlier outside?”

  Nervously, I tucked my escaped hair behind my ear. “My past. The threats. I can’t start something with anyone if they don’t know everything.”

  Jaxson took a deep breath. “I know about the accident. I know all about the threats. I know about it all, London. I just never expected . . . you.”

  “Jaxson, you have a child to think of.”

  The brush of Jaxson’s hand along my arms soothed my nervous energy. “London, I know what the courts and evidence said, but I agree with your dad. I think there’s more to the story.”

  “What makes you think that?” The words Mom said at the nursing home came back. Someone did something to her.

  Jaxson watched me. “I don’t know, but people don’t change who they are at the core. I can’t imagine you going on a bender because something upset you after the time we’ve gotten to know each other. Were you ever like that?”

  “No. Never. It never made sense, but the evidence is there. I’ve accepted my actions.”

  “Think about this . . . should I be punished for the rest of my life for abandoning my son?”

  I closed my eyes, abhorred by the image my brain conjured up of a neglected Ty. “It’s not the same. I took a little boy’s life while driving. I was behind the wheel.”

  “Ty could have died if his mom hadn’t been lucid enough to drop him off. We dated for a few months. The last few times we didn’t use a condom. Then, I realized she was crazy and unbalanced. I found out she was conning me. Crystal wanted to find a wealthy man to set her up for life. I tried to get her help. She refused and I ended things. I never checked to see if she got pregnant. I should have checked, knowing we were having unprotected sex. The only reason she dropped Ty off was because her latest rich boyfriend didn’t want a kid.” I went to protest. “London, I’m not saying what you did was okay. I know a boy lost his life and you served time in prison. You’ll carry that burden for the rest of your life, more so than a true drunk and you have no recollection of it. I’ll always carry around how Ty came to us.”

  I nodded, not sure what to say.

  “In regards to the threats, I think someone wanted you gone, which leads to me still believing you don’t have the full story.”

  Sometimes opening old wounds only left more scars.

  “If I ever thought I would put Ty in danger, I would leave. I promise. I only think they wanted me gone from Guin.”

  Jaxson’s jaw tightened. “Just talk to me first. Okay? We do this together. I would never put my son at risk, but if we try this, we do it together.”

  “Together.” It was hard after being on my own for four years in prison to be connected with someone. “What about Ty? Jaxson we’ve known each other for all of two seconds. What if you don’t like the way I chew my food? Or I don’t like the way you put on your shoes?”

  I knew my examples were stupid, but I wasn’t sure what else to say to get my point across.

  Trying to be serious, Jaxson pressed his lips together before he burst into laughter. “If I get past your chewing, I think we can get past my shoe habits.”

  I slapped his chest. “I’m serious. Maybe those were bad examples. Let’s talk about everything. Figure it out. Not say anything to Ty.”

  He scrubbed his hand across his chin creating a delicious friction sound. “I’m not dating you in secret, London, like we’re ashamed. This affects Ty too. He’s a lot to handle, London. A lot. You’ve seen it. He’s part of the deal. It’s our relationship, but he’s part of it too. Fuck, I don’t know how to do this.”

  “Have you ever dated with Ty around?”

  “No. Not ever.”

  Tightening his arms around me, I leaned on his shoulder. “We’ll get to know each other. Find out more. Not tonight. Not when I have to leave in a bit and your thoughts could talk you out of us. London, let’s see where it goes. For both of us. All of us. I don’t make commitments lightly, but I take them seriously.”

  “Me too. I like the sound of that.” I sighed.

  “Good.” A finger grazed my cheek and I shivered.

  I lifted my face and involuntarily licked my lips. Without missing a beat, Jaxson brought my face to his. The kiss intensified. I needed to be closer. In one swift movement, Jaxson flipped me on my back and hovered over me on the couch leaving me breathless. A vibration sounded from his pocket. “That’s Dad. They’re on their way back.”

  It was too soon for my time to be over with Jaxson, but I understood. He kissed me hard once more before his piercing green eyes watched me. “I want to take you on a date as soon as I can get a sitter for Ty.”

  “We could go to a park or ice cream parlor altogether?”

  Feeling his lips against mine told me he liked the idea. The cell phone rang and I heard a regrettable groan. My core ached for more, but it was too soon. Slow. Slow. Slow. We needed that. There was still so much we needed to learn. And our attraction was catapulting us fast down the relationship road.

  Fishing the phone out his pocket, Jaxson answered. “Hey. Yeah, that’s fine.” He chuckled. “Okay.”

  “What are you going to tell your parents?”

  “That I got a second chance.”

  We smiled at each other. This was happening. This wasn’t a dream. Beeping from the keypad was the cue for Jaxson to stand. I righted myself as Ty entered. “London, you missed feeding the baby sheep. It was awesome.” He crashed into me.

  Instinctively, my arms wrapped around him as Jaxson watched. “It sounds like it, little man. We’ll have to go again sometime.”

  Ruffling his hair, Jaxson said, “We’ll take her, buddy. We need to get you home and in bed.”

  “Aw, Dad. I want to stay here.”

  “Not tonight. We’ll see London bright and early tomorrow.”

  Arms came around my neck. “Night, London.”

  “Night, Ty.”

  As they left, Jaxson looked over his shoulder and blew me a kiss. I caught it and returned the gesture before he walked out the door. My heart melted into a pile of goo. I hoped I kept this one piece of happiness I found.

  AT THE TABLE IN THE kitchen, I ate granola and cereal. The silence comforted me as I processed what happened with Jaxson last night. Ty would be arriving in about two hours for me to watch until Jaxson was done with his rounds at the barn. Jaxson had controlling interest in the therapeutic part of the business while Levi controlled the McCole Classic. Both seemed to be lucrative business operations.

  Even though it was Saturday, and my day off, I’d offered last night via text to help Pam since she needed to run a few errands in town. Originally, she was to watch Ty today. Glancing at the clock, I figured there was enough time for a run in the fresh country air. With my constantly changing schedule, it was hard to always fit a run in. Especially since today was my first day off since arriving.
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  Staying busy kept me focused and not dwelling on what couldn’t be changed.

  Since being released, I could see a difference in my body from eating better and being able to exercise more. I loved it. Hopefully soon I would have time to dance again.

  Mid-bite of granola, a knock sounded. Around the food I tried to yell, “Just a second.”

  It was too early to have anyone here unless there was a problem. Quickly, I wiped my mouth and headed to the door. The early-morning angle of the sun blinded me for a second before I was able to focus. Two figures before me held a bouquet of wildflowers. I gasped as my hand gravitated toward my mouth.

  “Dad says you bring a girl flowers when you like her. We like you, London.” Ty thrust the wildflowers at me and I smiled. “Do you like us?” Before I had the chance to answer, he looked up to his father. “Dad what do girls bring guys they like?”

  His green eyes pierced mine and those familiar butterflies returned. I had it bad for this man. “They give us their love.”

  My heart exploded. I’d never been romanced before. Of course, I went on dates, but Charles and I dated for so long we were complacent. Kneeling, I took the bouquet from Ty with his eyebrows puckered. I gave him a hug. “Thank you for the flowers.”

  The sweet delicious smell permeated the air. I loved wildflowers. They were perfectly imperfect with their beauty.

  Tiny fingers motioned for me to come closer for a secret. In a loud whisper, he responded. “It’s okay if you want to give me more than love. Like a super hero or something.”

  I busted out laughing as Jaxson ruffled his hair. “One day you’ll understand, buddy. One day love is all you’ll want.”

  Knocking his father’s hands away, Ty gave him a you-are-crazy look.

  The wooden screen door of the main house creaked open. Pam called from the back porch. “Ty, we need to get going.”

  Going? I thought I was watching him. Once Ty was out of earshot, I’d clarify. Ever-changing plans were definitely part of my daily schedule.

  “Gotta go, Grama is calling me.”

  Before he could escape, Jaxson picked him up and gave him a hug. Jean-clad legs and cowboy boots kicked as he tried to wrestle free from Jaxson’s hold. “Listen to Grama. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Dad.”

  Ty raced to the house. In his yellow shirt he looked like a lightning bolt. “I wish I had that much energy.” Even standing, Ty bounced. I cleared my throat. “Do you need me to watch Ty at all today?”

  A devilish smile appeared on his face. Those dimples. That scruff. It was all enough to make a girl go crazy. “Change of plans. I thought I could go with you this morning on your jog. I heard you mentioning it to Mom last night. Maybe spend some time together this morning before I have to work.”

  It wasn’t until now I noticed Jaxson wore low slung black running shorts with a light-blue wicking shirt. “You’re running with me?”

  Jaxson was taking an interest in me. Things I liked to do. It wasn’t a one-way street, but the beginning of building something else I wasn’t used to. Charles never took an interest in my hobbies.

  Hesitantly, he responded, “If you want company.” Jaxson’s confidence trailed off.

  The thought of running with Jaxson nearly had me bouncing in place like a little girl. “Yes. Yes. Of course. It’s just unexpected. I didn’t mean to sound like I didn’t want you to come. Let me grab my watch.”

  Traipsing inside, Jaxson followed. As soon as the door shut, my body was gently pushed against the door. Jaxson’s mouth was on mine. Slightly pulling away, we smiled against each other’s lips. Our breath mingled as I asked, “Did you sleep well?”

  “I thought about us all night.”

  The kiss deepened for a few seconds before he stepped back, taking a deep breath.

  “You really know how to swoon a girl. How is it you didn’t date before?”

  Part of me dreaded the answer. Was I the same as the girls before me?

  Jaxson watched me closely while making sure he had my full attention. “I messed around from time to time. I wasn’t interested in anything more. I’m not messing around with us, London. This isn’t a casual fuck. I’ve never misled anyone. I want you to understand this. I wouldn’t have my boy involved if it was.”

  In one swoop, Jaxson helped ease my apprehension. I gave him a small kiss before saying, “Well, I’m glad you changed your mind.”

  With my hand on his stomach, I felt his rigid abs. His subtle spice smell nearly had me wanting to sniff him, but I remembered myself. There was no need for the already long list of embarrassing acts I’d committed in front of him. Time for a subject change. We needed to get out of here before our obvious attraction took us to the next level sooner than intended. “Are you ready to be put through your paces?”

  “You bet.” He wagged his eyebrows and I blushed at the verbal innuendo I’d walked right into.

  Sex. Wow, it had been a long time. My libido was ready to cash in the rain checks. And trust me, it was becoming more outspoken by the moment. Just the thought had me panicking. What if I wasn’t any good when it was time? I’d only ever been with Charles. Behave. Maybe the Thunder Down Under Vibrator Millie gave me should be used to calm me.

  Hands touched my shoulder. “London, baby, breathe. We’re not rushing this. Why do you look scared shitless?”

  It was best to be honest. “I’m nervous. I’ve only ever been with one person. What if I’m terrible? What if—”

  Lips silenced me and I melted into the man who captivated my attention. “It’s me and you. Anyone else in our past doesn’t matter. I’m one lucky bastard to have another chance with you. London, I want to know everything about you. No secrets.”

  I beamed. Honesty was something I thrived on. “No secrets.”

  THE HEAT FROM THE SUN felt good on our morning jog. The air smelled fresh after the slight rain passed through last night. I tried to keep my eyes on the ground as we jogged in order to not look at the way the shirt clung to Jaxson’s sweat-sheened body. He was in insane shape. Nearly done with the jog, it felt good to run for an hour.

  At the quarter-mile mark from home, we slowed to a walk for the cool down. The whole time I’d spilled my guts about everything from Charles, to dancing, to prison. Around Jaxson it all came out—almost lifting a weight, knowing he knew everything. Patiently, Jaxson listened.

  Finishing with my journey to Colorado, I asked, “So, have I scared you away yet?”

  He raised his eyebrow and scoffed. Our bodies moved closer. “Hardly.” Fingers wrapped around mine. I licked my lips to hide the insane smile that wanted to spread across my face. The pace slowed.

  As the silence lingered, I wasn’t sure what else to say. Saving me from rambling, Jaxson said, “Crystal, Ty’s mom, was not who I thought she was. She knew all the right things to say and was interested in the same things. Then, I found out it was all an elaborate lie when she accidentally texted me versus her friend. I started digging and found out our relationship had been a setup from the beginning.” He took a deep breath. “After that . . . from time to time, I heard about her drinking and doing drugs with her new richer boyfriend from mutual friends. No one ever said anything about a baby. She told them the baby was someone else’s, so they didn’t mention it. Ty had been born tiny and she said he was premature. People bought it.”

  The muscles in Jaxson’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Almost a year later, Ty was dropped off on our doorstep in the middle of the night. I made it to the front door in time to see taillights disappearing. Ty was screaming. Turned out he was nearly starved to death. He was the size of a six-month-old when I first got him.”

  Jaxson stopped for a second and gazed out onto the field with the horses. Sparkle stood at attention at seeing me before going back to eating. The pressure on my grip tightened. “There was a note, sloppily written saying he was mine and she didn’t want him. She purposely stopped using birth control to get pregnant and trap me, but I found out her p
lans too soon. She was mad and kept him a secret to punish me. We nearly lost him, London. He was hospitalized for almost a week. Those images will forever haunt me. If I had known—”

  Shaking his head, he cleared the dark memory. I understood the need to escape being pulled into the past. It only leads to places that never wanted to let go. “I have full custody and Crystal has a restraining order against her. She may not even know about it. I’ve tried to locate her to simply know where she is but haven’t had any luck. The last thing Ty needs is a crazy drugged-up mother showing up and shaking up his life.”

  “Jaxson . . .” Understanding filled my tone.

  Pinning me with his eyes, he asked, “Have I scared you away yet?”

  “No.”

  He gave me a quick kiss. “Good. Come have breakfast with me at my house.”

  “I’d like that. Let me grab my phone first so I can tell my dad good morning.”

  Nearly to the guesthouse, butterflies danced in my stomach. Hormones were out of control anytime I was in the vicinity of Jaxson. Concentrate on the chlorine smell from the pool. Yes, chlorine. It’s very clean. His body. His sweaty body. I need an orgasm.

  Shit.

  This was bad. So very bad. I pressed my legs together as I entered the code. Hold off for the thunder stick. Millie was a godsend having the foresight that I would need something. Tonight I was putting that stick to good use.

  Jaxson’s hand rest underneath my breast as I messed the code up hitting a six instead of a nine. Thunder stick. Thunder stick. No need for a dick. Was I rhyming? Please, no.

  Another swipe of his hand and I nearly melted. Involuntarily, I leaned my head back as his lips sucked a path down to my collarbone. “I think breakfast may have to wait, sweetheart.”

  “Yes. It can wait.”

  What’s better than a thunder stick? Dick. Oh my gosh, I needed help or an orgasm.

  I messed up the code again. His hand trailed down my stomach. I messed it up for a third time. Strong hands laid on top of mine and depressed the numbers for me. The lock blessedly opened. Before the door closed we were on each other tumbling to the floor. Lust exploded between us. Jaxson’s hands were under my shirt as mine touched his chest. Pushing my sports bra up, he touched my nipple—a straight line to my inner need. It’s certain, I need a dick, not a thunder stick.