Dissipate Read online

  It was hard not to like Aiden being possessive of me. Since Tasha’s comment today, I kept thinking about the possibility of us together. As we had watched The Hangover, I focused on how much I enjoyed being near Aiden. This felt like we were on the cusp of making an important decision.

  His phone vibrated and he picked up. “Hello. Yeah, I’m on my way. Yes, I know. I know Mike has plans. Okay. Is Trent there? Good.” Blowing out a breath, he looked at me. “I’ve got to go. There’s something we need to discuss tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow? Why not now? You’re making me nervous, Aiden.” A million different questions formed in my mind. Worry ebbed in.

  His hands came out and his thumbs brushed my shoulders causing a shiver. “Don’t be nervous. I need to get back. I’ll see you at eight, okay?”

  “Okay.” As Aiden left for the front door, I felt desperate and my self-assuredness of what I had been contemplating deflated. “Hey, Aiden.” He turned my way and gave me a killer smile. “You’re a really good friend to me. Thank you for everything.”

  Instantly, his face dropped. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  The door shut and I felt alone. Feeling the bun on the top of my head, I let it out to relieve the never ending headache from the weight. My hair was still long and quite a few inches past my waist, but I kept it up all the time. I don’t think anyone had really seen it down.

  “Kenzie, your hair is gorgeous. Why don’t you ever leave it down?”

  I jumped and saw Brooklyn standing there, looking beautiful in jeans and a lightweight sweater. “It’s too long and I want to get it cut. I haven’t had time. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll find a place.”

  She looked at her phone and frowned. Glancing back up at me she said, “Let’s make a day of it tomorrow. We’ll go get your haircut, then go look for some winter things.”

  “You wouldn’t mind?”

  Giving me that don’t-be-silly look, she typed something out on her phone. “Of course not. I’ll be your chauffeur and we’ll find the perfect outfit to wear to the party tomorrow.”

  “It’ll be fun going with Aiden.”

  Whatever had been bothering her, left her face as I spoke. I may have sounded a little too anxious. Who was I kidding; I was anxious about the whole Aiden thing. And now he wanted to talk to me

  She flicked her wrist. “Yes, it will. We’re going to get something that makes Aiden go crazy and push his ass in gear!”

  “What?”

  She came up and gave me a squeeze. “You really are adorable. I’ve got to run by the sorority house before I meet up with Mike.” Grabbing her jacket, she sincerely asked, “Are you going to be okay here by yourself?”

  Being alone was truly the only time I got to be completely unguarded. “I’m good. I put the rent check on your dresser. Let me know if you want me to mail it all out.”

  “I’ll take care of it.” Brooklyn looked in the mirror by the door and adjusted her hair. “I’ll be home about midnight. Sleep tight”

  As Brooklyn made it to the door, I called after her, “Have fun!”

  Brooklyn closed the door and I was left alone. Tonight, I’d figure out my budget for what I had for winter clothes and maybe watch the videos of my dad again.

  BROOKLYN BUSTED INTO my room as I sat cross-legged on my bed reading a book on modern day slang. Inconspicuously, I closed it and tucked it behind my back.

  “Wakey! Wakey! Let’s get our day started! Wait, you’re already up? I thought for sure I’d have the drop on you this morning.” The disappointment had me laughing.

  Work began at The Society at sunup. After nineteen years, it was hard for me to sleep in. “You know I’m an early riser.”

  “You suck! What would you think about hitting the gym this morning before heading out?”

  After looking at Brooklyn closer, she had on all her workout stuff. She liked working out a few times a week. People actually visited the facility to burn calories. It was an odd concept at first when she’d told me. The last thing someone at The Society would want to do is work out after the long hours of manual labor we put in every day.

  It was time to check out the gym and experience wanting to get exercise. “Sounds good. I don’t have any workout clothes though.”

  Beaming, Brooklyn leaned out the door, then came back in with a small stack of clothes and tennis shoes. “Here’s some I don’t wear anymore. I think they’ll fit you even though you’re a little smaller than me.”

  Getting off the bed, I grabbed them. “Thank you. You really are too good to me.”

  “Don’t be silly. You’d do it for me.”

  Grateful, I took the workout clothes and made my way to the bathroom to change. These pants were definitely the tightest thing I had ever worn before in my life. Thank goodness the shirt was loose fitting. I tried to stretch the shirt out a little to cover more of my legs.

  While I dressed, Brooklyn called through the door. “Last night, I spoke to my friend who does hair. If you’re interested, she said she could cut your hair at four. We could get all your clothes first.”

  “Oh, perfect. I was hoping we could find someone.” Cutting my hair was something I desperately wanted to do. A new hairstyle for a new life. My hair was so long that it always had to be up or it looked drab and plain.

  Brooklyn’s pleased voice sounded through the door again. “I’ll see you downstairs. I’m going to grab us some waters.”

  Making sure everything was covered, I turned in the mirror. I wanted to throw sweats on top of what I was wearing.

  Hesitantly, I moseyed downstairs. Brooklyn held her keys with two water bottles. “Oh good, they fit. They look great on you. Are you ready?”

  “I am.” Though I wasn’t sure anyone should see what I was wearing.

  We made our way to the gym as Brooklyn sang to the radio. Bopping my head and dancing with her, I let myself have fun.

  The Hyper building was where the students exercised indoor on campus. Our tuition covered the fee, which was nice. I followed, more like jogged, after Brooklyn to the building and scanned my ID at the door. Brooklyn was on a mission as we quickly made our way somewhere.

  “Hey Brooklyn, we forgot our water bottles. Do you want me to go get them?”

  She shook her head. “We don’t need them.”

  Apparently, there was another reason for our hasty visit. It probably had something to do with Mike as she grabbed my hand and dragged me down different halls.

  Abruptly, she stopped at the corner looked around it, then faced me. “Do you want to hit the treadmill first?”

  I had a feeling, even if I said no, I’d be hitting the treadmill anyway. “Sure. You’re acting weird. What’s going on with you?”

  Giving me the most innocent smile ever, which meant she was definitely up to something, she said, “I’m here to workout. Let’s head over here.”

  I rolled my eyes and followed her as I took in the room. The place was lined with all sorts of equipment. None of which I knew how to use. People were sweating with headphones in their ears and watching mounted televisions. They truly were working out for fun. I kept following Brooklyn to a machine that had a belt and a board with buttons connected to it. I followed her as she got on. This must be a treadmill.

  “Okay, let’s start off with Program One.” Brooklyn showed me which buttons to push and the belt moved. “If you need to speed it up or slow it down, you hit these buttons. Are you ready to get your workout on?”

  There was still something definitely off as Brooklyn gave me another innocent smile. “Yeah. But, I know you’re up to something.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Brooklyn changed the subject. “Oh, I won’t be home tonight. Mike asked me to stay over at his place”

  Giving me a wink, I now knew what the next level was. From hearing people talk, I knew purity until marriage wasn’t something commonly done outside the walls of The Society. I wasn’t sure where my thoughts stood on the matter, but I knew in time I’d figure it out
.

  The treadmill raised and simulated me climbing a hill. I had to change my stance to keep up. My calves burned as I kept up with the pace of the belt. “Mike seems like a good guy.”

  “I think so. Aiden approves too which is huge. Oh, speak of the devil.” Brooklyn pointed and I turned to see Aiden walking toward us about ten feet away. Shirtless. He was shirtless. I lost my footing and spiraled off the back of the machine as my limbs went every which way.

  Several people gasped as I heard my name being yelled by Aiden and Brooklyn. “Kenzie!”

  Kill. Me. Now.

  Strong arms helped me up. “Kenzie, shit are you hurt?”

  As I dusted myself off to assess the damage, I responded, “I’ll be fine. Just embarrassed.”

  Brooklyn stood beside me. Knowingly, she looked at me. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know.” Lie. Aiden, shirtless, is what happened. “I’m okay. I promise.”

  I looked to Aiden and saw his defined muscles up close. He was lean and something within me roared to life. An unrecognizable feeling deep down in my stomach was breaking through. I focused on anything but him.

  Feeling nervous, I kept rambling. “Brooklyn brought me here for a quick workout before we left to go shopping.”

  I changed my focus to Brooklyn. Staring at random things felt awkward as I tried to avoid Aiden’s chest. Shifting from foot to foot, Brooklyn appeared guilty as Aiden spoke, “I meet my sister here every Saturday morning to run on the treadmills. This is our normal spot.”

  That’s why she acted so strange. I shot a look at Aiden. Still shirtless. Then moved my gaze to Brooklyn who gave me a sweet smile as I pieced it all together. “Oh, I forgot to mention that. Silly me.” Brooklyn innocently shrugged as Aiden chuckled and shook his head. “Kenzie should probably walk it out to make sure she’s okay. Want me to take her, Aiden?”

  “I’ve got it, Brooklyn.”

  There was definitely something they were communicating as they stressed each other’s names.

  She shot an innocent smile in both our directions. “Okay, I’ll get our stuff and meet you guys at the front.”

  We didn’t have anything with us. I didn’t correct Brooklyn.

  My ankle was a little tender, but I tried to walk as normal as possible. Aiden’s hand touched the small of my back. He had been working out and he smelled good on an entirely different level.

  We made it into the hallway and Aiden stopped toward the end. “Let me look you over.”

  I nodded. Still being shirtless was a distraction in itself. Why hadn’t I noticed the other guys without their shirts on? Aiden picked up my ankle gently and rotated it. My hand wanted to go out to his shoulder for balance, but I’d be a complete goner if I touched him like this. I needed some dignity intact.

  He stood and I faced slightly away as I tried to get my wits about me. “So, did I scare you? You seemed to be doing well until you saw me.”

  I was still looking everywhere but at Aiden. He moved in front of me and gave me an expectant look to answer. My eyes darted to the floor. “You were umm . . . distracting for a second.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Exasperated, I looked into his eyes. He was going to make me spell it out. “You were . . . I mean you are shirtless. It was distracting.”

  “Good distracting?” Aiden smiled wide.

  My cheeks heated. “You know my answer to that.”

  He pressed. “I want to hear you say it.”

  “Why?”

  Again, that crackling sensation charged between us as I tried to get out of confessing. I had missed this feeling.

  “Because . . .” We were moving closer to each other. “You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “It was a good distracting.”

  Aiden touched his nose to mine. “Good. I’ll pick you up at eight tonight.”

  We stood there and my hands grabbed his arms as I tried to steady myself. His lips were less than an inch to mine. They wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but I refrained.

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  LOOKING IN THE mirror for the hundredth time, I made sure everything looked okay. My strawberry red hair was now just below my shoulder blades. The feeling was weird as my head felt weightless after cutting nearly twenty-four inches of hair. The hairdresser had added loose curls and sprayed something called hairspray on it. Apparently, it was glue for hair. Styling my hair this way seemed easy to do and I believed I could mimic the look.

  Brooklyn had showed me how to apply some makeup. I kept my natural look, but added a bit of color, then mascara which was made of bat guano. People actually put this stuff on their face. Who would have thought? It was slightly disgusting.

  The clothes shopping trip had paid off. I now had a complete new stylish wardrobe for fall and winter. Altogether, I had spent less than four hundred dollars. It was a large sum of money for me, but I needed the clothes. It was weird having all these possessions. New clothes, new hair, new home, new life. The transition I’d been through was mind boggling. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t recognize who I was when I looked in the mirror compared to the girl who I’d seen at The Society.

  Taking a deep breath, I smoothed my hands back over the lightweight black sweater that hung off a shoulder. My new jeans had, as Brooklyn put it, artfully ripped holes. Yeah, people actually paid for clothes that had holes in them. Go figure. Since I had nearly killed myself in heels, I stuck with some cute black flats. I felt fashionable and like I fit in. Every day was a struggle to make sure I didn’t slip and show how clueless I’d been—still was in some areas.

  The time approached a quarter till eight. I needed to get out of my room. If I checked my hair one more time to ensure I didn’t look like a freak, I was going to drive myself crazy. Brooklyn was downstairs in jeans similar to mine and a blue turtleneck.

  Standing at the counter, Brooklyn looked my way. “You look amazing, Kenzie. Aiden’s going to love it.”

  “You think so?” I was still nervous at my appearance even though I loved this new change.

  “I know so. He’s a good guy, Kenzie.”

  I nodded, while I affirmed her statement. “I know. Hey, can I ask you something even though it may be presumptuous?”

  “Go for it.”

  Having Brooklyn’s full attention, I proceeded. “If something more does happen . . . between Aiden and me . . . are you okay with it?”

  Brooklyn came over to me to give me a hug. “Kenzie, I think you guys will be perfect for each other. I’m happy for you both.”

  Knowing my roommate supported us being together helped immensely. “Sometimes, I feel like there’s something else between us and then I feel like we’re only friends. I’m not sure how all this is done, but I want to make sure you’re okay with it.”

  Hesitantly, Brooklyn chewed on her lip as she debated something. Taking a deep breath, she continued, “Aiden’s been hurt pretty bad with a previous girlfriend. He’ll kill me if I say anything more, but it’s why things have taken so long.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know. He’s never mentioned it.” Then, thinking about the last part of her sentence, I added, “What’s taken so long?”

  Giving me another hug, she giggled. “I love how innocent you are.” Then, more somberly, she added, “Just be gentle with his heart, Kenzie. That’s all I ask. Even if things don’t work out, don’t hurt him.”

  From Brooklyn’s tone it sounded like Aiden had been through something rough which I hated. Aiden and I hadn’t discussed it. “Brooklyn, I would never hurt him.” Aiden had quickly become one of my only best friends, other than Brooklyn. Besides that, hurting people wasn’t in my nature.

  “I know. In case you were wondering why it took him a while to make his move, I wanted you to know.”

  Nerves returned for a different reason. Maybe there was a chance for Aiden and me. “We’ll see what happens. I don’t want to get too excited for something that ha
sn’t happened yet.”

  After all, my life had been a series of ups and downs as I pieced together the truth recently. The doorbell rang. Brooklyn jogged to the door as my heart picked up its pace. What if it’s Aiden? I felt ill.

  Mike, a good looking guy too, stood behind the door in jeans and a T-shirt with his fraternity’s Greek letters on the chest. Towering in the doorway, Mike ran his fingers through his sandy-brown hair while his dark-brown eyes took in every inch of Brooklyn. In high school, he’d been a basketball player.

  Mike only had eyes for Brooklyn as they gleamed. “Hey, gorgeous. You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss.

  Lower, Mike spoke to Brooklyn, but I still heard him. His deep voice carried. “Are you ready? Aiden gave me exactly three minutes.”

  Brooklyn chortled. “I am.” She turned to me and blew me a kiss. “You look beautiful. I’ll see you at the party.”

  Mike looked up and stopped. “You’re about to make someone’s night, Kenzie.”

  Frowning from confusion, I muttered, “Thanks.”

  How was I going to make someone’s night? All of these insinuations had my mind racing with possibilities.

  They left and I was alone. The sound of my own heart beating was louder than the clock on the kitchen wall. “It’s okay, Kenzie. It’s only Aiden. Until yesterday, you weren’t giving any serious thought as to something more. Being a friend is better than nothing.”

  But could there be something more than friendship? I really hoped the answer was yes.

  I paced through the kitchen, trying not to nervously run my fingers through my hair, when a knock came from the door. “Kenzie, it’s Aiden.”

  Practically sprinting, I made it to the door in record time. It had seemed like a lifetime ago since the gym this morning. Aiden stood behind the door and a brisk breeze came in.