Dissipate Read online

  Large crowds were still daunting to me. Sometimes, I wanted to be alone and recharge. I’d been to one other low-key Sigma Chi party since the incident with Trent. The whole time, like the first, I had to focus on what was going on so I could understand what everyone was referring to.

  From that party, I’d learned about the term cougar and sugar momma. Apparently one of the guys was hooking up with someone nearly twice his age. She was a cougar and his sugar momma at the same time. Sugar momma was a weird way of saying the female was rich and doted on the person. The terminology made me laugh.

  Brooklyn stood as the doorbell rang. “It’ll be fun. Did you still want to go Halloween costume shopping with me tomorrow for Sigma Chi’s party?”

  “Yes, I can’t wait.” I stretched before standing.

  The Sigma Chi Halloween party was apparently a big deal. Of course, I was going as Aiden’s date. Since he was an officer of his fraternity, I thought it was important that I be part of these types of events. Eventually, they’d get easier.

  Brooklyn traipsed toward the door. “I’ll go let Romeo in.”

  My hair was up in a loose ponytail and I wore a flannel shirt, jeans, and had a warm jacket to wear. Brooklyn had loaned me a hat and gloves. It was the next thing on my list to buy as the temperatures continued to get colder while transitioning into the winter months.

  Arms came around me. “Hey, sweetheart. Are you about ready?”

  “Yes, I can’t wait.” I loved spending time with Aiden, especially outdoors.

  We were looking at each other in the mirror above my dresser. Aiden’s arms were mere inches from the underneath side of my breasts. They felt heavy, dying to be squeezed. I loved when he touched me there, but so far that’s all we had done. “What are you thinking about, Kenzie?”

  Giving a shy smile, I looked away. “Just us.”

  His hands moved up and I leaned back, giving him access to my neck. “I like the sound of that. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I hate when we don’t stay together.” Lips made contact with my skin.

  Barely able to contain the moan, I responded breathily, “Me, too. Maybe you could stay the night tonight.”

  “I’d like that.” Abruptly, he pulled away. “If I keep touching you, I won’t be able to stop.”

  The throb within me over the last two weeks neared an unbearable state. I needed more. It was like my body was beginning to demand some sort of release or I would explode. Grabbing my coat, I followed Aiden out of the room.

  Brooklyn was at the counter eating a bowl of cereal and swinging her legs. I made a mental note to see if we could stop by the grocery store tomorrow. I needed a few things or I’d have to be walking to Walmart at some time for food. Either was fine, but I could get everything on my list if someone drove me versus making multiple trips. Canned food and milk were heavy when I put them in my backpack.

  Between mouthfuls, she said, “You guys have fun. It should be beautiful up there.”

  Aiden put on his coat. “Yeah, I figured I’d take Kenzie to the rocks you like.”

  Brooklyn turned to me. “Oh, you’ll love it, Kenzie. I’ve been wanting to take Mike up there at some point. We’ve been crazy busy.”

  We said our good-byes. I recognized the part of town as we drove and made small talk. The sign for Walmart I’d initially visited passed us by as I remembered my first day here. How time changed things.

  Now when I entered a Walmart store, I didn’t pause to look at everything I passed in the store. Up ahead, we turned left, then wound up a road. Within minutes, we were isolated from the chaotic hum-drum of life. Trees encapsulated the vehicle as we drove farther up the road. Leaves continued to occasionally drop.

  Stopping, Aiden pulled off the side of the road. Only a couple of cars with bike racks on the back of them were parked in front of us.

  I got out of the vehicle and took it all in. Closing my eyes, I listened to the rustling of the leaves and the silence. Silence is a beautiful sound. My eyes opened and this place resonated peace. “This place is magnificent. I like the isolation.”

  Aiden’s arms encircled my waist. “Wait until we start on the path. We need to sign a waiver, then we can hike.”

  “Yes, let’s get going.”

  We took a couple of steps down to a notebook. The waiver was simple to understand that the trail was dangerous and the owner’s weren’t liable. We signed our names. The pages were crinkled as the wooden box had not completely protected the notebook from the elements.

  Aiden grabbed my hand and we hiked on what could barely classified as a trail. The path was rocky and the dirt worn. Squirrels scurried about. Rocks littered the path which only made it more endearing.

  Barely missing a small tree stump, Aiden warned, “Watch your step, sweetheart. It’s going to get a little rougher ahead.”

  Aiden had my hand as he walked slightly in front of me. There wasn’t enough room for two people to be fully side by side. I was taking in the beauty of this place. The foliage reminded me of the woods back home when Matthew and I would go exploring when we were able to steal some free time.

  Matthew and I would walk for hours while we talked and held hands. What seemed like such an intimate gesture back then was now simply a way to connect with someone. Holding hands didn’t have to be intimate.

  There were deer tracks on the path sporadically. During our walks, I’d learned how to spot animal tracks with Matthew. Those were happy memories. I hoped he was happy like me.

  “Do you like it out here?” Aiden’s question brought me back out of thoughts from the past.

  Blinking my eyes, I cleared the memories. “Yes, I do. I used to spend many hours outside.”

  “I bet you hated the winter.”

  I tried to think why I would hate the winter. We’d only get snow a few times a year. On those days, we were allowed to stay inside and reflect on the white that represented The Light. Mom and I would stay snuggled in bed while we talked and I got some additional studying in. Those were the best days.

  Curious, I asked, “Why is that?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve heard that Montana has pretty harsh winters.” The words had me faltering and losing my step. Aiden had caught me in a lie. “Are you okay, Kenzie?”

  “Yes. I tripped on something.”

  My face felt flushed. It had been a long time since I’d nearly slipped on one of my lies. Feeling close to Aiden had me letting my guard down more than I should. Being out here, nearly alone, had me feeling free.

  We kept walking. Aiden pressed me for an answer. “So were the winters pretty harsh?”

  Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

  He was going to make me answer. Knots formed in my stomach. “Yes, they were.”

  “I thought so. Does it bother you to talk about your home?”

  This was my way out to hopefully curve any future questions and minimize the lies. “When I talk about home, it makes me miss my mom.”

  Stopping, Aiden kissed my gloved hand. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “It’s okay.” I gave him a gentle smile to ease any doubt he had. “I like living in the present. The past wasn’t very bright for me.”

  How true those words were.

  We continued walking. Somewhere a fire burned as the smoke smell permeated the air. There was a large boulder that had beautiful green moss growing on it. Intermittently, lichen grew where the moss hadn’t reached. The mixture of colors were beautiful against the stark color. I loved being out here, appreciating the life I’d found.

  Aiden squeezed my hand before speaking. “Are you and Brooklyn still going Halloween costume shopping?”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty excited.” I had never experienced Halloween. Aiden had asked if I wanted to be his date and I’d said yes without understanding what was all involved which meant another trip to the library.

  “It’ll be fun. Have Brooklyn text me when you figure it out since you don’t have a phone.” Aiden said the last part with a raised eyebrow. Apparently, g
etting a phone was more of a necessity than I deemed it to be. I’d checked into it and the bill would be about fifty dollars a month. That was a lot for something I had survived over nineteen years without.

  Lovingly, I squeezed his hand as I rolled my eyes. “I know. I know. I need a phone, but I’ll have her text you.”

  We were going as a coordinating couple. Overall, the Halloween tradition seemed silly from an outsiders view looking in. Children dressed up, then knocked on doors, asking for candy. As people got older, they still got dressed up, but instead attended parties. And the costumes had a wide range. There were some, unfortunately, that would be seared into my mind forever.

  Some rocks fell and I looked. There was a steep ravine below to my right. If you didn’t have a sure foot, this place could be dangerous. The trail narrowed. “Wow, there are some steep parts. No wonder they have you sign a waiver when you come up here.”

  Aiden stepped over a small tree trunk that had fallen across the path, then waited for me to clear it. “Yeah, bikers come up here a lot. They love the adrenaline rush.”

  The tips of my toes tingled and I moved closer to Aiden. Rounding the bend, huge boulders that were three times as tall as me towered in front of me. Green moss grew on the rocks more abundantly. Dead leaves covered the trail.

  I ran my hands along the wall of the rock. “Wow, this is spectacular.”

  “Come see this.” We walked around the bend and there was a small cave like place.

  I looked around. The crevice only highlighted the beauty of the place. Someone could hide up here. “Aiden, this is gorgeous. All of this. Can we explore?”

  “Of course. I come here to think from time to time. Actually, I came here to think about how I was going to ask you out and not scare you off. I clocked a lot of time on these trails when we first met.” Aiden’s blue eyes warmed as he looked at me. “And now I have you.”

  His words warmed me. “Really? You couldn’t have been that nervous. I’m just me.”

  “Yes, really. I couldn’t fuck this up with you. Not until we had a chance. The amount of time I spent talking to Brooklyn about you is embarrassing.” He chuckled. “But, it was all worth it.”

  Throwing my arms around his neck, I gave him a kiss. “I wanted you, too. But, I didn’t dare hope.”

  We gazed into each other’s eyes. “Well, now we have each other.”

  “OKAY, SO WHAT fortune did you get?” Aiden asked.

  We were standing at the counter, having cleaned up from dinner. After Mount Kessler, we’d gotten Chinese to go and came back here. Cracking open the cookie, I got the fortune.

  It made me giggle. Aiden tried to look at it but I brought it to my chest, making it impossible for him to see.

  “Come on. I shared mine with you.” His voice was cajoling as if that sexy smile was going to have me giving in.

  I looked to the ceiling as I thought about it with my index finger tapping my chin. “Hmm . . . I don’t know if you’ve been good enough.”

  Aiden went to grab it, but I was prepared for him. Spinning, I kept it out of his reach.

  “I’m going to get it, Kenzie.” His voice was predatory and sent a thrill of excitement through me.

  Giggling, I ran into the living room, yelling. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

  Rounding the couch, I got on the other side of the coffee table as Aiden hurled himself over the back of the couch in one smooth movement. We were separated by four feet.

  “Kenzie, I’m going to get it. I’m going to tickle that spot on your side.”

  On a squeal, I ran up the stairs. Aiden was right behind me. Barely making it to my bedroom door, Aiden picked me up and threw me on the bed. Straddling my legs, he capture both my wrists in one hand. He was strong and pinned me easily. Heavy breaths filled the air. The musky sent Aiden wore was the right mix of masculinity and spice.

  Giving me a sexy grin, his hands pried mine open. There was only one defense mechanism left to use. Reaching up, I softly bit his bottom lip. I knew he liked that from the guttural groans I would get during our make out sessions. Responding, Aiden’s hands came to my hem of my shirt. This is what I needed—more of Aiden. Arching my back, his hand slid toward my heavy wanting breasts.

  Intense need that I’d pent up over the last few weeks bubbled to the surface.

  My fingers found the bottom of Aiden’s shirt and I bunched the fabric to lift it. When I got to his upper chest, Aiden straightened and brought the shirt over his head. I wanted to be shirtless, too—at the same time. Up until now, my shirt had always remained on and simply been pushed up. Before Aiden leaned back down, I yanked mine over my head. Aiden stopped as I undid the front snap to my bra.

  “I love how your nipples darken right before I touch them.” Heat raced across my skin. “You have a beautiful blush.”

  “Touch me, Aiden. I need you.”

  Listening to me, Aiden passionately captured my mouth. My nipples brushed against his hard chest. Desire engulfed me. Locking my legs around Aiden, I pulled him to me. His erection was hard through his thin cotton pajama pants. A moan escaped my lips as the friction increased the want.

  Breathing hard and kissing down my neck, Aiden whispered, “Tell me if I need to stop.”

  “I need more.”

  Encasing my beaded-tip, Aiden sucked my nipple into his mouth. His other hand trailed toward my navel and I dropped my legs from his waist. I wanted this. As he reached my lower abdomen, a flip-flop sensation happened and I raised my hips.

  “Kenzie, you’re beautiful.”

  A fingertip traced the top of my pants, then went underneath it. I opened my eyes as his touch was nearly to the most intimate part of me.

  “Do you want this, Kenzie?”

  “Yes.”

  His tongue came down and traced around my other nipple. As Aiden made contact with my clit, I bucked off the bed. No one had ever brought a sensation like that to me. I needed Aiden’s mouth. Threading my fingers through his hair, I brought his lips to mine. His fingers danced across my wet folds while his thumb intermittently applied pressure to my sensitive spot. The pressure intensified. A finger entered me and moved in a hypnotic motion that was about to drive me insane. Without warning, a mind numbing sensation took over my body.

  “Aiden!” His name was like a prayer on my lips. All my cries of ecstasy were swallowed. Slowly, Aiden extricated his fingers from me as I fought to bring my breathing under control.

  Rolling to the side, Aiden watched me. “Watching you come undone because of me is my new favorite thing.”

  “That was incredible. Indescribable. My fortune was right.”

  Aiden looked behind me and found the discarded fortune. Triumphantly, he read it and chortled. I turned on my side and noticed his hard on. Hard on was another new slang word I had learned which was the cooler way to say erection. I wanted to touch Aiden intimately as he had me.

  Trailing my fingers down his torso, I made it to the rim of him pants. “Is this okay?”

  Blue eyes looked back at me that were nearly iridescent. “It’s more than okay.”

  I dove underneath and came in contact with Aiden’s dick. Penis didn’t seem like an appropriate word to use in a time like this. At the parties, dick was the common term used. It was soft yet hard as I made contacted with the head and stroked my fingers around it. Moisture became prevalent as I kept touching him.

  “Tell me what to do next.”

  His pants unbuttoned and the zipper came down. This was the first time I’d seen his dick. It was huge. Would this fit within me? Aiden kissed my neck. “Wrap your fingers around my dick.” I did and received a guttural moan. “Move them up and down.” His eyes closed and his breathing became heavier. “Keep a firm yet loose grip. Go from the base all the way back up to the head.”

  As Aiden spoke his directions, I followed. Completing my first stroke, I was rewarded with a tender bite on my neck. My motions continued and Aiden closed his eyes.

  I kept repeating t
he motion. “Fuck, Kenzie. That feels good.”

  My momentum increased slightly. “Faster, sweetheart. Go faster.”

  I did and Aiden rolled back on his back. Keeping up the pace, Aiden stiffened. For a second, I wondered if I had hurt him but then a thick creamy liquid spurted onto his stomach. His breathing was labored as I released him and watched him.

  “Holy fuck that was fantastic.”

  Inside, I beamed at his praise. Aiden opened his eyes. “Come here.” Bringing my lips to his, he kissed me sweetly. “I need to get cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”

  Aiden got off the bed. I laid there boneless, finally feeling relieved. The orgasm had been earth-shattering. Coming back to bed, Aiden brought me under the covers with him. We laid chest to chest with our shirts still off.

  “How are you feeling?” Tracing his index finger up and down my spine, Aiden’s voice was filled with warmth.

  I snuggled deeper. “Complete.”

  “Me too.”

  THE PARTY WAS wild. The music played so loud, I could barely hear myself think. Bodies crushed together. Beer spilled from cups as people talked with their hands and danced. Aiden and I had gotten separated when I visited the bathroom.

  Now, I was looking for him. He’d wanted to leave early for a surprise he had for me. This was the first time I thought that a cell phone would be useful. If I didn’t find Aiden soon, I was going to head up to his room and wait. That was our meeting spot if we got separated.

  It was rare for me to come to the house. With Trent still being a member, I think Aiden felt more comfortable with me away from Trent. Far away. Honestly, the less time around Trent the better. First impressions weren’t always correct. Trent had been the guy I’d followed into the library on my first day on campus. He’d been friendly and outgoing when in reality he was a pompous ass.

  I didn’t like Aiden around Stacy, so I understood.

  Seeing Bradley, one of Aiden’s good friends, I asked, “Have you seen Aiden?”